All Sorts of Beautiful
by Kaitsa
Summary: After rescuing Bella from her cliff-diving experiment, Jacob drives her home. They are hit by a romantic moment that will change their lives forever. Jacob x Bella. Rated M for lemons.
1. Chapter 1 Sort of Beautiful

**Summary: **

After rescuing Bella from her cliff-diving experiment, Jacob drives her home. They are hit by a romantic moment that will change their lives forever. Jacob x Bella. Rated M for lemons.

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_AN: The first chapter is the same as my one shot "Sort of Beautiful". If you already read that one, you can skip right to the second chapter of this story._

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**Chapter 1: Sort of Beautiful**

Jacob POV

I had almost lost her, my Bella.  
No, not my Bella. But I wish she were, and she knows it.

I was sunken deep into thoughts when I drove her home. Not about Victoria, I should have been thinking about Victoria, but all my thoughts evolved around Bella, once again. This girl who was sitting in the truck next to me, shivering in her wet clothes. I could warm her up so much better than this blanket does. But I wasn't in the mood to continue those fantasies. I was too upset.

How could she be so careless with her life, the thing that matters to me most?

I mean, I knew she was depressed. When she first came to my garage with that motorcycle, she was an empty shell. Dark circles under her eyes. Charlie had come to Billy asking for a father's advice; apparently she was having horrible nightmares every single night. He was getting desperate and thinking about sending her back to her mother.

Back then, yes, I would have understood a suicide attempt. She must have been close too, and maybe that was the whole idea behind her motorcycle.

But now? I'd like to believe that I was making her feel better again. We spent a lot of time together and I could see her eyes light up with every passing day. Even if she walked in looking absolutely horrible, after another bad night, I managed to make her smile and she'd return home with a cute blush on her cheeks.

My friends from my pack tease me with her of course, but somehow, I don't mind. Whenever they mention her name and add 'Jacob's girlfriend', I can't help but smile.

And I don't know, I guess I believed up until today that she was considering it. That she was starting to forget about that bloodsucker at last, and think about being my girl.

But I suppose that was teenage make-belief. She knew she could have me, I was sure of that, and still she decided to rather jump off that cliff, right in the arms of Victoria.

I have been so blind, believing that she was doing better. She wasn't better at all.

Maybe I was only seeing what I wanted to see.

That might explain why others don't see her the same way, they wonder why I like her in the first place. They call her a depressed mess. Any girl that can grieve so much over a lost boyfriend, doesn't have any self respect or identity. Some even dared to state that she's using me.

Obviously I punched all those guys in the face over and over again, until they stopped talking about her all together.

I know Bella in a way nobody else does. When she's around me, she's witty and cheerful, not a depressed mess. We have tons of fun. And she's not like other girls either. She doesn't care about clothes and make up, about proms and dates. She's real, as real as it gets.

At last, I reached her dark house and cut the engine so everything was silent.

She hadn't spoken a word since we left and I was wondering if she was mad at me for rescuing her. I wasn't sorry though.

I pulled her into a hug and felt her lean closer. She didn't seem mad, and she didn't plan on getting out of the car, the way she snuggled against me. Who would want to leave into the cold night, when you can have the blazing arms of a werewolf?

Then again, she did prefer cold bloodsuckers, so with her, you never know.

"Sorry", I spoke, not really sure if I was apologizing for the rescue, or for loving her too much, "I know you don't feel exactly the way I do, Bells. I swear I don't mind. I'm just so glad you're okay that I could sing – and that's something no one wants to hear." I laughed nervously.

Her breathing picked up and I wondered what it meant. Did I give too much information? I thought I had been clear in the past about how I saw her. Maybe she didn't want to hear it now.

And then I felt her shift a tiny bit. She didn't respond to my joke, didn't even laugh politely, but now she turned her head a little bit towards me. I felt her breath on my shoulder, her lips almost touched my skin. What on earth was she up to?

Before I could reach any conclusion, she suddenly stiffened and I let her go.

This was it, she would get out of the car now and the moment would be gone. The moment that was filled with possibility. At least, that is what I hoped. In the flash of that second, I felt like she would actually do it. Cross that bridge and choose me.

I closed my eyes and waited for the door to open, but no sound came.

Carefully, I looked sideways. She was staring out the front window, her arms across her chest like she always does when she's upset about the vampires.

Great. So she's been thinking about Edward again.

Sure I was hurt, it starts to sting more and more, with every time she gives me hope and then takes it away again.

But just like all the other times, I can't be annoyed with her, not when I see her like this. So I put my feelings aside and ask "Are you okay, Bella?"

She nodded and looked up at me with big apologetic eyes.

"I'm sorry, Jake, I wish I could…" she didn't finish her sentence and I wasn't sure if I wanted to hear it.

"You don't have to say it," I said, and I took her hand in mine, the way we always had. I was letting her know it's okay. It's okay to take my affection whenever she needs it and then start dreaming about her vampire again.

"I do, I think it's time I'm being honest with you."

"Allright," I said, apprehensively.

"I've been hearing him. Edward. In my mind," she confessed while she looked at our hands in her lap.

I almost cringed when I heard his name. "He's been talking to me, whenever I'm being reckless. I see his image, as if he's right there. So the only way I can keep him close to me…"

"… is by doing stupid crazy stuff, like crashing a motorcycle and jumping off a cliff?" I finished her story.

She simply nodded, cheeks red in shame.

Hearing this pissed me off to no end. I was still in control, more than I had been a few months ago, but still my hands trembled.

"Are you mad at me?" she asked, in a soft voice.

"No, not at you. At him. For leaving you in this state. So that you would risk your life just to catch a glimpse of him."

"He didn't know," she tried to defend him again, but at this I started shaking more.

"That's bullshit, Bells!" She cringed at my tone, so I continued in a calmer voice "I didn't know what you were upto just now either. But did I let your drown? No! When you love somebody, you don't just assume they're gonna be fine. You look after them. You make sure they are okay."

I didn't realize what I had said until I was done. I told her I loved her. And I didn't even say it in a sweet way. I was such a douche. Listening to me rant at Edward and confess my love for her was probably the last thing she wanted to hear.

She slowly turned sideways and looked at me.

Now it was my turn to start blushing.

I expected her to tell me that she didn't see me this way, you know, the whole love-you-like-a-brother speech, I was ready for it.

"He didn't look after me, did he?"

I shook my head, and looked at her with worry.

"He left me." She said it as if she was finally getting the message. I was afraid she would break down any moment now, but instead, her grip on my hand got stronger.

"He left me and he didn't know I would be fine, and he sure as hell didn't make sure I was fine, because I really wasn't!"

She sounded angry now, and I had to admit that I liked it. Angry Bella was so much better than devastated Bella, and god knows that bloodsucker deserved it.

"And here I am," she continued while she started shivering again, "still thinking about not betraying him, when he did let me drown."

I didn't let my heart dwell on what she might mean, talking about betraying him. Maybe I didn't misread the signs earlier, maybe she was considering me after all?

This time she didn't wait for me to pull her closer. She was cold and crawled near me again, placing her cool cheek on my shoulder.

My arm was wrapped around her instinctively.

She muttered "I'm sorry," but I already forget what she was sorry about, when I felt her breath against my skin.

"Hmm?"

"You deserve so much better, Jake."

"I can't imagine anybody better than you," I said. I didn't care any longer about hiding my feelings. I already said I loved her and she was still here. So why bother holding back?

"All I've done the past year is talking and thinking about him, when you were here all along. You're the one who made me smile, you picked me up and brought me back to life, you're the one who saved me. In so many ways…"

I smiled, happy that she finally saw that much. Even if it didn't change a thing.

"It wasn't a bother at all, Bella. I love your company, you were easy to save. And you were here for me too, when things got rough this year, the wolf stuff and all. I can't imagine a better friend, so you have nothing to feel sorry for," I tried to comfort her.

And this time she did it.

There wasn't a warning, or a hesitation. She placed her lips on my shoulder and she kissed me.

Before I could wonder if this was a thank you kiss, she placed another one on my skin, a little higher.

This was too good to be true. I knew I had to aks her to stop. She had just gone through a near dead experience. I should carry her inside, let her sleep, and go hunt that Victoria.

But I was frozen in time and space, feeling her lips on my skin, going up to my neck.

Her breath came fast now, and so did mine. Was this really happening?

Instead of doing the rational thing, my arm around her pulled her closer, and my face lowered slowly.

I had dreamed about this for so long, everything else could wait. I wouldn't give her a chance to change her mind.

She looked up straight into my eyes and there was no trace of the pity I feared to see.

I saw nothing but love. And not the brotherly kind. I saw a girl, my girl, whose eyes had opened for the first time in months. Who saw me clearly and who knew what was right.

It would come naturally, it would be so easy, like breathing.

I smiled at her and she smiled back, nervously.

"You're sort of beautiful," I said, while I softly brushed the wet strands of hair from her face.

She chuckled and I saw that familiar twinkle in her eye, the one that made her come to life the past months.

And then she closed the distance. She kissed me and it was easy indeed.

I pulled her onto my lap and I swore to myself to never let her go again. No wolf or vampire would ever harm this girl, she was mine now.

When our tongues met, she wrapped her arms around my neck and I pulled her against my chest.

We kissed and kissed, making up for all the time we lost. We made out like only teenagers can. And it was clumsy, and feverish, but at the same time sweet and loving. Her wet clothes were uncomfortable and I was in fact too big to fit into the drivers seat with a girl on my lap, but we still didn't leave the truck. This moment was simply too perfect to break.

When finally our lips needed some rest, she laid her head on my shoulder.

And she whispered the words that I've been needing to hear for ages now.

I knew right there and then that she wouldn't change her mind. Even if he came back, he would be too late. I had taken my chance, and she felt it now. She knew it.

"I love you, Jake."

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_AN: This is the first story I wrote in three years, please let me know what you think!_


	2. Chapter 2 Visitor

_AN: This story will follow some of the events that happen in New Moon and Eclipse. But that kiss between Jacob and Bella will change everything._

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**Chapter 2: Visitor**

Bella POV

After I finally told him how I felt, how I have felt for a while now without realizing, he held me close for the longest time. Afraid to let go.

Until he suddenly shifted in his chair, and released his grip around me to wipe the fogged up window. I looked up and saw him stare intently outside towards the street. When I followed his gaze, my eyes caught what he had seen and I recognized it immediately.

"What…" Jacob started, but before he could continue I replied "Carlisle's car."

"As in Carlisle Cullen, the bloodsucker?" he said incredulously. The tone of his voice made me flinch, but he didn't notice. He immediately shoved me off his lap and got out of the car.

"I smell them now," he said while I could see his body shake. He was about to phase on the spot if I didn't do something quickly.

I jumped out of the car and grabbed his arm. "It's okay, it's just Carlisle, let me find out what he wants."

"I'm not letting you enter the house when there's a vampire inside. It might be a trap."

He hadn't phased yet, which was kind of a victory, but he still shuddered violently.

"I'll be safe," I tried to convince him, "it's his car, I'm sure of it. Let me talk to him."

He finally took his eyes off the car and looked at me. He knew how stubborn I was, and reckless too. He knew I'd go in anyway, no matter what he said. I saw the hurt and the resignment on his face.

"You can come with me," I suggested, but he shook his head "a werewolf and a bloodsucker in the same room, that won't work."

"Okay, then wait here, I'll see what he wants."

He nodded reluctantly, and then added "I'm gonna have to inform the pack."

I knew those were alpha's orders so I didn't object.

In fact, I did't want to stay here and discuss the matter any further, I was dying to get inside and find out what was up. Maybe it wasn't fair to Jacob, after the moment we just shared, but I couldn't help it.

So I gave him one last look, ignored the hurt expression on his face, and almost sprinted for the door.

When I entered, I heard nothing, there was only silence and darkness. Just when I was about to get uneasy and ready to run towards Jacob again, the light was switched on and I was greeted by a very surprised vampire.

"What are you doing here!" Alice almost shrieked.

"I… I live here," I muttered, and then I ran towards her "Alice! Is that really you!?"

She caught me easily and held me almost with the same force I clung to her. I wanted to ask her so many questions, but instead, I started to sob against her stone chest.

"Hush, now," she soothed me, while she carried me towards the couch. I hadn't known just how much I missed her until now. She was really here.

After I finally calmed down, she held me at a distance to take a good look at me.

"You look horrible," she stated, disapprovingly. "But that's no surprise. Care to tell me how you are still alive?"

It took me a moment to realize what she meant, and then I said "you saw me fall."

She looked at me pointedly, "I saw you _jump_."

I averted my gaze, had no intention to confess all about my motivations for my reckless behavior. After all, they left, they gave up their right to keep me safe.

She continued, "I saw you jump, the current, you disappeared, I waited and I waited. Then I panicked and I took the first flight here. And now you simply walk in here?"

"Jacob saved me," I clarified.

I wasn't ready to tell her everything about my friendship with Jake, that was private too. But she didn't ask, she was deep into thought, probably wondering why she hadn't seen that part.

My temperature was slowly dropping again, being so near the cold vampire in my damp clothes.

"You should probably warm up," she noticed, "maybe a shower might be best, you kinda reek."

I already showered at Jake's place, but maybe I still smelled like dirty ocean water.

I quickly went upstairs and turned on the hot water while she waited on the couch, still in deep thought.

I glanced outside the bathroom window and saw that the truck had left. He was probably with his pack now.

During the shower, I started wondering what else she knew. She hadn't asked about Jacob, maybe she knew everything already.

That gave me a bad feeling, and I had no idea why. Maybe I didn't want her to know that there was someone new in my life? Or maybe I didn't want _him_ to know?

The thought of him, Edward, made me hot and cold inside, still.

Earlier, in the truck, I got a little angry at him, for not being here for me, but now, with Alice showing up here, that anger dissipated quickly. Clearly she still cared about me, maybe I had misunderstood their absence?

How could it be possible that the precise moment I tried to choose Jacob, Alice showes up. Was this a sign maybe?

Once I got back downstairs, hoping to smell better now, I immediately asked the question that was on my mind.

"Does he know you're here?"

"No, of course not, he'd rip my head off."

"And about your vision?" I didn't want him to see me jump. Didn't want him to know I missed him so bad I had actually thought about killing myself.

"No, he doesn't live with us anymore."

"Oh," I simply said. Thinking of him still filled me with hurt, so much that I wished I could still be angry at him.

She saw my grimace and said "I knew this would happen, I told him, but he wouldn't believe me. She'll be fine, he said, she's better off without us. And then you try to end your life."

I objected weakly, "I didn't try that. I just… wanted to jump, it looked like fun. I was surprised by the current."

She eyed me skeptically. "So you tried to reach the surface but you couldn't?"

I nodded. "And this guy, what's his name, he saved you?"

"Jacob. He jumped in and pulled me out. I couldn't have been under for more than a minute."

She thought for a while.

"I didn't see anyone up there with you," she said, as if she still didn't believe me.

"He was around, we were there together, he's sort of… my best friend, nowadays."

I didn't want to sound accusingly, as if he was only my friend because they had failed to be so.

"How was he able to fight the current?"

"Jacob is… strong."

"I knew it," she said, "I recognized that smell, that stench. He's a werewolf, isn't he?"

"Um…" I hestitated, this wasn't my secret to share, but my pause told her what she wanted to know.

"Your best friend is a werewolf?"

She didn't wait for my reply, and continued her rant. "You're a magnet for danger! Us vampires leave town for the sole purpose of keeping you safe and you have to start hanging out with the first monsters you can find."

I had no come back to that. I should have defended Jacob instantly, shout at her that he had kept me safe so much better than they ever had, but all I heard was that they left for my safety alone.

"He told me he left cause he didn't want me anymore," I murmured.

"Oh, Bella!" Alice sighed, "if only you knew."

She held me and I all I could think was 'knew what?'.

Before I could get to that, she asked "how long have you been friends with this werewolf?"

"Well, I've known him all my life, but he's just recently turned into a werewolf."

"A young werewolf? Even worse!" she almost shouted.

"He's no danger to me," I finally defended him. "He's been nothing but good to me…" I added in a softer tone. She noticed my heart speeding up and looked at me curiously.

"How good?"

I didn't answer, I looked away from her, my eyes intently on the table in front of us. I have no idea why I don't want her to know. Maybe I was afraid she would tell Edward and then I'd lose my last chance of him ever coming back.

Wait, hadn't I just chosen Jacob?

I didn't know anymore. I just wanted to sleep.

"Are you two…" she wasn't going to let go.

"I don't know," I answered. "There might be something there, it's still early. I think he's loved me for a while. He sort of picked me up when I was… well, depressed. He made me happier again. I haven't really figured out how I feel."

"How bad were you?" she asked carefully.

I was reluctant to share but she already knew: "it was horrible, wasn't it? I knew it, I told him…" she shook her head and held me again.

Suddenly the doorbell rang and she was surprised once again.

Something dawned on her and she muttered "I can't see him, that's why I didn't see the rescue. Are you sure you're safe with him?"

She started to get up.

"No, Alice, don't go, please, don't leave again!" I almost shouted desperately.

"I'll stay in touch, Bella, I promise, I won't disappear off the face of the earth again, but right now, I think it's best if I'm not around when your young wolf steps in."

"He's not my…" I tried to object, but she was out the back door already.

I didn't know whether to be happy Jacob was back, or sad that Alice had left.

Both feelings filled me with guilt, the first towards Edward and the second towards Jacob.

I had just made my life so much more complicated, and I was in deep trouble here.

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_AN: I'm so curious, please let me know what you think, all your thoughts and ideas are welcome. _


	3. Chapter 3 Funeral

**Chapter 3: Funeral**

JPOV

I was aware that the bloodsucker's car was still parked outside on the street. But I wasn't going to wait any longer.

I had stayed in the truck for half an hour and she didn't take the time to let me know she was fine. I had walked near the house only to see her sitting in the arms of the pixie one.

I was relieved that Edward wasn't here and she seemed to be safe so I informed the pack that Bella had a visitor. With the Cullens back, even if just for a short while, we couldn't protect Bella from Victoria in her house.

She'd only be safe in LaPush, and I was going to let her know that.

I rang the door and I heard voices inside. Bella almost yelled something, and then finally she opened the door. Alone.

She looked freshly showered, but she smelled worse than before. The whole house reeked and I scrunched up my nose.

She stepped aside to let me enter, but didn't look too pleased to see me.

The whole drive up here I had imagined a romantic reunion. I knew I'd only been gone for two hours, but I had missed her so much. I was terrified that this vampire returning would ruin the love we just found.

And seeing her here, in front of me, unwilling to look at me, almost confirmed my fears.

The stench was too much for me in the living room, but I managed to drag my quivering form into the kitchen without phasing on the spot.

Bella followed me and when I turned around to look at her, I saw her quickly wipe a tear from her cheek.

I was with her in an instant, "Bella, are you okay? What did she say?"

"No it's nothing," she tried to smile weakly.

"Then why are you crying?" I took another step closer, not sure how to act around her now.

I decided to take the friend role that was so familiar to us now.

"I just didn't realize how much I missed her until I saw her just now," she admitted and she looked at me worried to see if her confession would hurt.

Missing Alice is not a problem to me. The other one however.

"Is she coming back?" I asked carefully.

"I don't know, she said she'd be in touch."

"And the rest?"

She knew who I meant, because she looked down, "no, he's not coming back, he's not even with the Cullens anymore. Before I could feel relief, she added "apparently he's still enjoying his distractions."

She furiously wiped another tear from her cheek and started rummaging through the fridge, looking for a can of soda.

I knew she was only trying to hide her face from me, but I read her feelings anyway. She's still missing him, she's disappointed that he's not coming back, him leaving her still breaks her just the way it always had and our moment in the truck didn't change that.

I was hurt more by this than I was ready to admit. I had dealt with her love for him from the start, but now things were different. It felt like I had tasted something, experienced what it was like to call her mine, and then had to give her back again to the great and absent love of her life.

I found it more difficult now to comfort her the way I always had, but eventually, I did it again. Moved my feelings aside and walked over to her and held her.

She put the can down and wrapped her arms around me tightly. I sighed into her stinking hair.

"This is all such a mess," she muttered, and I knew she referred to our kiss and the bad timing of it.

It didn't encourage me to kiss her again, but her presence did.

We were alone, I was holding her near me, I felt her small hands on my back, and before I was aware of it, I had cupped her chin in my palm.

She looked up at me, and I searched her eyes for traces of the love she had for me. They were still there, underneath the fresh pain.

I wanted more of that. I lowered my face and she leaned into me. Our lips touched and relief washed over me. Was she still mine, despite everything else?

I opened my lips a tiny bit, waiting for her to reciprocate, but then we were interrupted by the sound of the front door opening.

"Bella?" Charlie called and she immediately broke the kiss and stepped away from me.

I knew Charlie would approve if we were together, he's been encouraging me for a while now, telling me that she'll get over the other one. I wanted to wrap my arm around Bella's shoulder, but she took another step sideways, and I got the hint.

When Charlie entered the kitched, she was uneasy for a bit, but then ran towards him and hugged him.

"I'm so sorry, dad." With shame I realized I had almost forgotten about Harry passing away.

The sherrif looked exhausted, and she pulled out a chair for him to sit at the kitchen table. Like a mother hen she hovered around him, taking his coat and opening a can of beer. She offered to make some dinner and started taking stuff out of the fridge that she could use.

It was clear that the distraction was welcome and she forgot about the mess she was in. As she called it.

Charlie asked me to stay for dinner, and together we talked about Sue, and poor Leah and Seth.

I really did feel sorry for them. Especially for Leah, who was still suffering from her broken heart. I knew we couldn't comfort her though.

As I was talking to Charlie, I had an idea that would keep Bella safe without her knowing. I asked them both over to stay in our house tonight. Late at night, there would be a wake, where all the family and friends would carry torches towards Harry's house, and tomorrow morning the funeral would take place. Charlie could stay in my sister's room that was now empty, and Bella could have my room. I assured him that it was no trouble at all, and I was very pleased with myself when he agreed.

After dinner, I offered to do the dishes, when they packed their bags. They locked up the house and I was happy to see that the bloodsucker's car was gone.

I drove them to LaPush in my truck, Bella squeezed between us in the middle of the front seat. I wasn't going to complain, I enjoyed to feel her body against my skin, and sighed happily when I felt her lean her head on my shoulder.

What a day it had been for her.

When we got home, I insisted that she would skip the wake and go to sleep immediately. I took everything out of my room that I might need tonight and tomorrow morning, and guided her upstairs.

She knew her way, we spent many hours on my bed talking and joking, but somehow, the atmosphere felt more tense now. I wasn't sure whether I could kiss her goodnight, so I stayed by the door, a little uneasy.

She took her pj's from her bag and turned around to me, laughing. "Are you gonna stand there and watch while I change?"

"No," I quickly backed up, cheeks red, "of course not. Goodnight," I practically ran to the hallway.

"Jake?" she called.

"Yes?" I replied without turning around, afraid I might see something I wasn't supposed to see.

"Will you come back in ten to tuck me in?"

I smiled "of course," and went downstairs again.

It was hard to wipe the goofy smile off my face, but luckily everybody was too occupied to notice. Billy and Charlie were going over the details of the funeral and getting ready to leave early for the wake.

I put my blankets on the couch where I would crash tonight and counted the minutes before I would go upstairs again. Just to be sure, I took fifteen minutes, and then knocked on the door.

She was already in my bed, under the covers, looking so tired she was probably trying her hardest to stay awake.

I sat down next to her.

"What a day huh?"

She smiled at me apologetically, "I'm sorry about this whole cliff-diving thing. It was so stupid, and such bad timing."

"It's okay," I said, placing my hand on her cheek, "we all have our own issues, but you're not alone."

"I know," she nodded. Her eyelids were dropping slowly, and opening again now and then. It was clear that she was too tired to talk.

I gathered my confidence and asked softly "can I kiss you goodnight?"

The sweetest smile appeared on her face and that was all the encouragement I needed.

I lowered myself over her and placed a soft kiss on her lips. Her hand went around my neck, pulling me closer to her when she deepened the kiss slowly.

All too soon, it was over again, and I sat up.

"Night, Bells," I whispered, but she was asleep already. I stood up and closed the door quietly.

I decided to skip the wake as well. I'd stay here to make sure she was safe. If it was up to me, I'd never leave her side again.

It took me a long time to fall asleep on the couch that was actually too small for my wolf body, but I must have managed after a while, cause I didn't hear Charlie and Billy return and in the morning I was woken by sounds coming from the kitchen. Billy was preparing breakfast and Charlie was trying to lend a hand but it was clear that he wasn't a great help.

I didn't see Bella so I went upstairs and tapped on the door softly.

She didn't reply and when I entered the room, I found her sleeping still. She was no longer under my covers. She was on her back, one hand underneath my pillow and the other hand dangling off the side of my bed.

She looked so perfect and innocent, sleeping like that. And sexy too, I noticed when I saw her body through her thin tank top.

I quickly stepped closer to cover her again before I brushed her messy hair away from her face.

She lazily opened her eyes and as soon as she recognized me, she lifted herself onto her elbows, looking a little bewildered. She started adjustig her hair, and I laughed "leave it, you look cute."

She groaned something, and then said in a hoarse voice "what time is it?"

"Seven. We're leaving in about an hour. Our dads are making breakfast. How are you feeling?"

She sat up straight now, pulled her knees up and yawned. "A little sore, but okay, I guess."

"Will you be able to join us?" I asked worriedly. I didn't want to leave her here alone, but I also couldn't miss the funeral.

"Of course, I just need fifteen minutes to get cleaned up, and I'll be ready."

I leaned over to her for a kiss, but she pulled away.

"I haven't brushed my teeth," she said, and I laughed "if I kissed you yesterday with that bloodsucker smell, I'm pretty sure I can handle morning breath."

It was meant as a joke, but I could tell that the memory of Alice, and my poor word choice, were not welcome.

She quickly got up, grabbed her bag, and hurried past me into the bathroom.

I sighed, and got downstairs where I was greeted by the smell of baked eggs.

The blankets were already removed from the couch and when Bella came downstairs, her bag was packed.

I wished I could keep her here forever, I could get used to her presence, but I knew she'd go home again after the funeral.

She stayed at a fair distance from me, as if to let me know she wasn't going to allow any kissing in the sight of her dad, and I understood. She wasn't ready to go public.

At the funeral however, she forgot about distance again, and took my hand, just like we always had.

Everybody was so used to us holding hands, nobody found it strange.

I managed to keep strong by not looking at Leah and Seth, and promised to make it up to them by going by their house regularly the next weeks. After all, I knew what it was like to lose a parent. The worst part was yet to come.

I drove Charlie and Bella back in silence, only to find a surprise on their driveway.

This time it wasn't the doctor's car, but it was an all too familiar silver Volvo.

* * *

AN: Guess who's back in town...


	4. Chapter 4 Promises

**Chapter 4: Promises**

BPOV

I was resting my head against Jacob's shoulder and enjoying the purr of the truck and the warmth of his skin.

I was glad that I had been able to help him for a change. He was having a hard time at the funeral, and I could feel by the way he squeezed my hand that he was pulling strength from my presence. Maybe this was right after all.

It wasn't until I was woken by my dad's voice that I opened my eyes.

"What is _he_ doing here?" he muttered, and his tone told me we had an unwelcome guest.

My eyes adjusted to the light, and then I noticed his car on our driveway. At least Alice had parked the car further along in the street, but he just put his car right here, as if it belonged there.

My heart almost stopped, and I'm sure Jacob noticed, cause he shifted a tiny bit away from me in his truck. His fingers gripped around the steering wheel, paling his knuckles. I was afraid he's break the car, but I was too shaked up by this new event to do something about it.

Jacob parked his car in front of the house but didn't turn off the engine.

"Aren't you coming in," Charlie asked, "it's not because we have a visitor that you're not welcome." He made it clear which one of both he preferred.

"No, thank you, Charlie, I should be going back to my dad," Jacob managed to control his voice.

Charlie got out of the car and held the door open for me to follow.

I looked at Jacob, but he stared out of the window, refusing to look back. I wasn't going to linger, after all, it was not my fault that Edward's car suddenly appeared here. Hadn't I shown today that I was going to be there for him?

"I'm sorry," I whispered reluctantly, still a little annoyed with his behavior.

He looked at me, and the hurt and fear on his face melted my irritation away. I placed my hand on his arm, and tried to smile.

I didn't kiss him though. Maybe I should have kissed him, but I wasn't ready for Charlie to know. And I probably wasn't ready for _him_ to know either, I thought, but then I pushed that idea away. Even if it was true, it wasn't fair.

Jacob placed his warm hand over mine, and said with a sigh "go on."

"See you tomorrow?" I asked, and he nodded.

He looked like he wanted to add something, but then he turned around towards the street again and I got out.

Before we reached the driveway, the truck drove off with a roaring engine.

Dad muttered something about how inpolite it was to show up unannounced, but the troubled look on his face showed me that it was mostly me he was concerned about. He'd witnessed me fall apart the past year. And now I was finally finding myself again, and _he_ shows up. I understood his worry. It was mine as well.

The door of the Volvo swung open and Edward stepped out of it, with even more grace than I remembered. I seemed to see him in slow motion, first his shoes, his jeans, and then all the way up to his face. He hadn't aged a day, and I hadn't expected him to. His hair was still a mess of bronze strands, his skin pale and eyes golden. I was almost frozen in place, not sure how to react.

Charlie spoke first.

"Hello, Edward," he said without passion in his voice, and he walked passed him towards the house.

"Good afternoon, Charlie," Edward replied politely in his sweetest velvety voice, "I'm sorry to drop by so unexpectedly. I apologize if it is inconvenient to you. I was in the neighbourhood and wanted to have a word with Bella."

Charlie sighed, not hiding his disapproval, and said "come on in, then", before he entered the house and went to the kitchen, giving us kids time some alone.

I wasn't sure what Edward's intentions were. Maybe Alice had told him about the cliff diving. Or about the depression. Or even worse, maybe she told him about my werewolf almost boyfriend.

I knew he'd disapprove, he was always so obsessed with keeping me safe. He made me promise not to be reckless.

But that was the whole point, wasn't it? Acting reckless to feel him closer. And now he was close, my reckless behavior made him come back.

I sat down on the couch and Edward chose another one, all the while watching me intently. I was aware of how I looked, I was sore, had bruises, and probably big bags under my eyes. He still looked as perfect as ever.

I tried to steady my fluttering heart, calling myself pathetic. I was sure that he could hear it loud and clear.

"Don't worry," he said, "I'm not here to preach at you for your broken promise."

"You broke yours as well," I stated matter-of-factly, remembering how he promised me he'd stay out of my life.

"True," he replied slowly, "I was wrong about many things. I thought you'd be safe…" he trailed off.

"Well, as you can see, I'm alive and well, so you mustn't worry," I defended myself.

I wasn't going to let him assume I needed his protection. I had a wolf pack saving me just fine.

"Hardly," he muttered.

"Did Alice tell you about the vision?" I guessed.

"No, Rosalie did," he whispered, and he looked at the kitchen where I was sure Charlie was listening in on us.

Then he added in a whisper, "can I come back later, so we can talk?"

I knew what he meant, he wanted to sneak into my room at night. I thought for a second and then nodded.

Edward seemed relieved and he continued in his normal voice "I'm glad you're okay, Bella."

He stood up and went for the door again. "Goodbye, Charlie!"

I wondered what he wanted to talk about, if he hadn't just shown up to make sure I was okay.

After he left, I went upstairs to shower. I scrubbed to get the wolf scent off my skin, remembering how bad it had smelled to Alice, and then I scolded myself for doing so. Why was I trying to smell good for Edward? It was pathetic.

I left my window open and went to sleep, just to be woken up a little past midnight by a light tap on the glass.

"Did you know there's a werewolf patroling your house?" he asked, without greeting me first.

I pulled the cover over my body and rubbed the sleep out of my eyes. He saw that I was cold and closed the window before he sat down on the edge of my bed, just like he had many times before last year.

"A werewolf?" I asked in a haze. I thought Jacob told me he couldn't protect me here, but it would be so like him to make sure I was fine anyway.

"I had to convince him I was here on invitation by showing him your open window."

I flinched at this, knowing that Jacob might interpret this invitation differently.

I got up to look out the window, but saw nothing but darkness. Then I remembered I was in my pj's and hurriedly hid under the covers again.

One look into Edwards smoldering eyes made my heart jump again, and I quickly started to talk.

"What did Rosalie tell you?"

"She called me up and said that Alice saw you die," he stated with a pained expression on his face.

"I called the house but nobody answered. Then I took the first plane here. By the time I got here, there was nobody home. I called Alice, and she told me this story about how she was wrong and you were still alive. I didn't believe her, so I stayed around. You didn't return all night. I called her back for more details and she told me about a conversation she had. She said you were friends with a werewolf now," the look on his face showed me that he didn't approve of this at all, which actually pleased me.

"She wanted to go talk to him, Jason is his name?"

"Jacob," I corrected him. I knew his perfect memory hadn't forgotten the name. He was acting as if he didn't care.

"Yes, Jacob," he said. "That night you didn't return, she followed you to the rez..."

I couldn't believe they had been following me again, my annoyance at their ways grew again.

"She talked to him?" I asked incredulously. Jacob hadn't told me.

"No, she didn't get there. She was caught by another wolf who chased her off their territory again. She questioned him and he assured her that you were safe with the wolves. And he didn't fail to mention that they saved you before, from Laurent and Victoria."

"Oh," was all I could utter.

"So I was wrong, I thought we were the worst threat to you, that you would be safe without us."

"I'm a danger magnet," I said apologetically.

"Yes. Yes you are."

He looked at me affectionately, and again my heart fluttered in my chest. He scooched a little closer to me.

"I'm so sorry, Bella," he said in an intense voice. My eyes were locked with his.

"I was so wrong, I've never been so wrong before, but I'll make it all up to you. I missed you so bad…"

I didn't respond.

This was probably the right time to tell him about this wolf patroling my house. Who was now more than just a friend.

But I failed. I was frozen.

"I'll keep you safe now," he continued in his hypnotizing voice, "I won't leave again."

He started to lean closer to me and just when his lips almost reached mine, the spell broke and I averted my face.

He looked hurt but quickly regained his pose.

"I understand. I hurt you. It's okay, Bella, take all the time you need. I'm not going anywhere, I'll stay with you and that is a promise I won't break."

And again, I didn't tell him.

I wanted him to stay, that is why. And I hated myself for being so weak.

He read my silence as hesitance and said "go to sleep now. I'll be back. Promise."

He placed a cool kiss on my forehead and disappeared out of the window. Leaving me utterly confused.

* * *

AN: Poor Bella, such bad timing. Are there any team Edward readers, or do you all cheer for Jacob?


	5. Chapter 5 Nobody

**Chapter 5: Nobody**

JPOV

I couldn't believe he had the audacity to show up here the way he did, and act like he could still claim her. He climbed in and out of her room as if he belonged there. The confidence he showed made me turn ice cold.

I knew he was a mind reader, so when he stepped towards me again after his short visit, I recalled a certain memory I found in Sam's mind. Bella lying on the floor in the forest where Edward left her to die.

It had the desired effect because he flinched and I finally saw some shame on his face.

His tone sounded less arrogant than it did before his visit, as he said "you can go home now, I'll take it from here."

I replied to him in my wolf mind "that is very generous of you, bloodsucker, but you failed to keep her safe before, so I'm not going to take any chance."

"Fine," he said, before running off into the forest.

I didn't like what he implied when he said he'd take it from here. Was he going to stay then? And what exactly made him so confident when he came from her room?

I knew he hadn't stayed for long, but I also knew how Bella felt about him. Probably still feels.

I don't have the illusion that our kiss changed that so quickly. She's not one to change her mind easily; stubborn and extremely dedicated. Those were qualities that I admired in her, but that worried me now.

"Could you please stop brooding," an annoyed voice said in my mind, "I'm trying to zone out here and you just won't stop."

"I'm sorry, Leah," I thought immediately. I had been unaware of her presence.

"I get it," the whisper replied, "he's back and it sucks. It sucks big time, but there's nothing we can do about it, he's not on our property."

"I know, I'm sorry," I apologized again, "I'll phase back and leave you alone."

"Thanks." She sounded faint and exhausted.

I hesitated. "Unless you like me to stay?" I added, hoping she would decline.

"No, I want to be alone. Tell you something: why don't you go to sleep and I'll patrol her house."

"You don't have to do that." I knew she had never liked Bella.

"It's not about Bella," she replied to my other thoughts as well, "I just want to get away from here. And don't worry, she'll be safe. That Victoria would actually do me a favor if she showed up, cause I'm in the mood to rip apart some vampires."

"If you're sure…" I agreed. I could use the sleep; that night on the couch hasn't been sufficient.

I phased back, pulled on my shorts and waited for her to arrive.

When she took my post, I drove home and fell alseep like a lump on the bed.

The next morning I kept myself from driving back to Bella's house. She had told me she'd see me today. If she still wanted to after her bedroom visit, she'd have to come find me.

I tried to keep busy, and distracted. I even cleaned up the house.

And then at last, I heard the engine of her old truck.

Instead of walking in like she had all year, she knocked on the door and waited for me to open it.

I hesitated on how to greet her. I didn't know where we were, what we were.

She walked past me and looked around. "Where's Billy?"

"He's at Sue's, helping out."

Then she turned and looked at me "are you mad at me?"

"No," I said. I tried to keep myself from getting suspicious. Why would I be mad?

She looked relieved with my reply and without waiting for me, she went upstairs to my room. I smiled because clearly she felt at home still.

We both sat down on my bed. As usual she pulled up her knees, wrapping her arms around them.

She started talking, "I know Edward told you I invited him in my room. It must have seemed like… I don't kow what it seemed like."

"Like you wanted to talk to him without Charlie overhearing the conversation?"

"Yeah…" she said.

"Is that all you did: talk?" I had a lot of questions and for some of them I wasn't sure whether I wanted to hear the answer.

"Yes, a little. He didn't stay long. So you spoke to him without phasing?"

"No. I was wolf already. He's a mind reader, remember."

"Oh, right, but you didn't attack him, so that's good."

I didn't like that tone. All that was missing from this statement was atta boy.

"I'm in control of myself," I said a little defensively.

"I know, I trust you," she nodded.

And she's right. Even when the other wolves told her to stay away, she always trusted me.

"What did you talk about?" I asked carefully.

She told me everything, about how he thought she was dead after hearing from Alice' vision, and how he had wanted to make sure himself that she was safe. How Alice had talked to Sam and found out about Laurent and Victoria. That must be why he mentioned at his departure that he would keep her safe now.

"Did you… tell him? About us?" I asked after gathering all my courage. I didn't know exactly what I meant. About being friends with a wolf? About kissing me? Maybe loving me?

"No," she admitted, "it didn't come up."

I nodded understandingly.

I must have looked dissappointed though, because she patted the bed sheet next to her, inviting me to get closer.

I took the invitation gladly and sat down behind her, pulling her against me.

She relaxed with her back to my chest . My arms were wrapped casually around her waist, resting in her lap.

Instinctively her hands took mine and I sighed in contentment.

This felt so right, having her here with me. In my home, in my arms, and in my heart.

I kissed the side of her face hesitantly.

She turned around to me slightly, smiling. She seemed happy to be here too, and I felt courageous enough to kiss her lips again.

She returned the kiss, softly and sweetly.

My arms hugged her tighter even.

One of my hands went up to carress the side of her face and her neck. She shivered in the cutest way and goosebumps arose on her skin.

All too soon, the kiss was over and she laid her head back against my chest.

My heart was still racing. I was already looking forward to the next time I could kiss her.

All I wanted right now was to lay her down on my bed, keep her here all night and kiss her till the stars go blue.

I was woken from my daydreams when she suddenly said "he said he'd make it up to me."

"Hmm?"

"Edward," she clarified.

I felt instantly insecure. Here I was, dreaming of her and revelling in the feeling of having her in my arms. Meanwhile she, she was thinking of him again.

My arms dropped to my side and I asked reluctantly "he'd make what up to you?"

"Not keeping me safe. I think he meant that he would stick around, maybe until Victoria was caught."

"I see."

I felt too vulnerable now to stay on the bed, so I got up and paced around the room.

"Jake…" she said, suddenly aware of the effect of her words. How could she be so sweet one moment and so thoughtless the next.

"Just like that, he comes back," I started to vent, "he thinks we need him now to keep you safe? We've been managing just fine."

"I told him that," she tried to calm me down, but I didn't listen.

"And then he's making you promises like that, trying to sweep you off your feet again."

I sat down on the bed, feeling defeated.

"He didn't try to sweep me," she defended him again, much like she had the past year.

I looked at her pointedly, "he doesn't have to try, does he? I know how you feel, I know you, Bella. The way he makes you feel, no human can compete with that."

"It's not about competing," she moved closer to me, and carefully placed her hand on my shoulder.

I hadn't realized that I started shaking again.

"Then tell me in all honesty, Bella, look me in the eyes and tell me you don't feel anything when he looks at you, or talks to you."

She averted her gaze and I continued. "That is what I mean. He can do things to you without even trying."

I wanted to add 'it's not fair' but I kept myself from being the childish boyfriend. I was acting jealous enough as it is.

"You can do things too, things that he can't," she said.

"Like what," I huffed.

"Like knowing exactly what I need at all times. Like making me smile,…" she summed up.

"Being a good friend," I concluded. Always the friend.

"Like kissing me," she interrupted.

"He kissed you too," I objected.

"Not the way you do," she said, blushing, "nobody ever kissed me the way you did."

Hearing her say this made my heart skip a beat, but I wasn't ready to stop pouting.

And I needed to know. So far, she's only been dodging my assumptions.

"But nobody dazzles you like he does," I stated.

"Maybe I'm tired of being dazzled."

"Only you're not, Bella," I said, and she looked me in the eyes.

"I'm sorry..." she muttered.

I was silent for a while. Then I asked, I had to know, "so it's true, he still dazzles you?"

"I don't know, Jacob, I suppose he does, a little."

"And what does that make us? Now he's back?"

"I don't know," she whispered, "I don't know what I feel, what I want."

Just like that, she broke my heart and burst my bubble.

If she felt this way, like there wasn't even an us, then why did she kiss me? Was this her new kind of using me now?

And more importantly, was I strong enough to stop her from doing it? Did I have the self respect to tell her only to come near me if she was sure she'd chosen me?

Of course not.

I would take whatever she was willing to give. I'd accept her feelings for him, like I always had.

"I'm sorry, Jacob," she pleaded, "I never ever want to hurt you. You have to believe me, it's the last thing I want."

I turned towards her slowly.

She sighed and brushed away an escaped tear from my cheek, and then she kissed me again.

How on earth could she tell me that she didn't know what she wanted, and then kiss me like she knows damn well.

I ordered my brain to shut up. I wasn't proud of it, but this is how the situation was.

I closed my eyes and my arms pulled her onto my lap.

This time, she didn't break the kiss. She stayed there and I let her tongue enter my mouth and carress my tongue until her words didn't hurt me so much anymore. Until I was ready to forget the truth, that there was a vampire called Edward who would be able to steal my girlfriend if he tried to.

That's what I did, I let her kiss me till I was crazy enough to think of her as my girlfriend. And everything felt right again.

* * *

_AN: Please let me know what you think. Is she using him? Should he push her away or hold her close? _


	6. Chapter 6 Truth

**Chapter 6: Truth**

BPOV

That night, I was in my bed, replaying certain events. Events that made my heart beat faster and warmed my entire being.

I took my cell and started typing a text: "I'm thinking of you. I'm telling him tomorrow."

In an instant, my phone rang and I was happy to see his name on my screen.

"Hi Jake".

"Hey there!" He sounded pleased and the sound of his voice made my smile grow wider.

He eagerly asked "tell me what you were thinking of."

"Lots of things," I said, "mostly about kissing you…"

"Mmm," he hummed, "me too."

My insides flipped upside down, there was no mistaking this feeling, I was in love. Even if I was a confused mess, I knew this much.

"Tell me," he said, "did you really mean that earlier, that nobody ever kissed you like I did?"

"Yes. I have never been kissed like I have been by Jacob Black," I said in a teasing voice.

"How," he continued, "how do you feel when we kiss?"

"Someone is looking for compliments," I laughed.

"No, I mean, yeah compliments would be nice, but I just want to know if you feel the same way I do."

"Can't you tell?"

"No. Whenever you're near me, I can't think straight."

"Well, when you kiss me everything else in the world fades. You make my head and my belly spin, in a good way. I just… warm up completely," I tried to explain.

I heard him sigh and then whisper "I wish you were here."

"Me too," I confessed, "I'm hugging my pillow now."

"You're so sweet, I could be there in fifteen?"

"No no, it's tempting but we need our sleep. I'll be with you tomorrow."

"After you visit him?"

"Or before? Whichever you prefer."

"I prefer after, I want to know how it went."

We talked a little more, whispering sweet things to each other, and then I dozed off into a dreamless sleep.

The next morning, I made breakfast for my dad and lied to him that I was going to LaPush. Instead, I took my truck and drove the familiar road towards the Cullen mansion. I had no idea if he'd be there or not, but it was the only plan I had.

When I got there, Alice was already waiting for me at the front door. The rest of the family gathered soon enough and I didn't know who to hug first. They each took turns in apologizing for being so wrong, and they promised me they'd fight Victoria till the end.

Edward stayed back, but I kept searching for eye contact. At last, he ordered the other vampires to leave me alone and invited me upstairs to talk.

I wasn't too keen on being overheard by the rest, but on the other hand, I didn't want to be alone with him either. My feelings and my weak heart weren't to be trusted.

"Are you all moving back here?" I asked, as soon as we were in his room.

"We don't know yet, I think we'll need to find out what Victoria's plans are first. I've been working on my tracking skills the past year, but I'm not very good at it," he confessed.

"I thought you were enjoying your distractions," I muttered, and he looked at me disapprovingly.

"Bella, don't be ridiculous, you should know better by now."

I didn't respond and sat down on the decorative bed.

"I guess it doesn't matter now," I started the conversation, thinking of a way to bring up Jacob.

"No, I suppose not," he said, "you gave up on me with my first attempt, in that forest."

My head snapped up, how could he think that I ever gave up?

"I didn't," I responded, "never."

"Bella…" he sighed with a pained expression on his face, "for months, all I've been telling you is that I love you and that I cannot live my life without you. And yet, it only took me one lie for you to doubt my feelings. I thought you would fight for me. I know I hurt you, and I'm sorry, but your lack of faith hurt me as well."

I had no idea this was coming. Had I really been this wrong?

"It made no sense," I muttered in my defense.

"Oh but it does," he said and he was in front of me now, on his knees, forcing me to look into his piercing eyes. "If only you know how special you are to me, you are so precious."

His cool hand brushed against my cheek and I felt the familiar electric shocks I used to feel with his every touch.

"It doesn't matter now," I repeated. "I met someone. He saved me in every way, he's my best friend. And there might be something more."

His hand dropped to his side, but he stayed in front of me.

"It's the wolf, isn't it?"

I nodded and he got up to pace the room much like Jacob did when he talked about Edward.

"Are you two in a relationship?" he asked, and I could tell he was uncomfortable with questions like this.

"I don't know, sort of…" I said, getting uneasy myself.

"What does that mean? Either you are, or you aren't."

I didn't like his demanding tone, so I said in a cold voice "in that case I suppose we are."

"I see," he said, and the pain he felt was clear even though he stood still now, facing the window.

"Do you… love him?" he asked quietly.

With this question, there wasn't any doubt, I could answer without hesitance "yes."

He nodded slowly and then started pacing again.

"If he were human," he said, more to himself than to me, "I could allow it, but now…"

"You don't have to _allow_ anything," I replied. "I can pick my own friends."

I forgot how controling he can seem sometimes. Somehow the memory of him turned into a perfect creature, when in fact, I used to be annoyed a lot when he wanted to make decisions about me as if I was a child.

"But Bella, he's dangerous. He's a young wolf; it's a matter of time before he snaps."

"He's safe," I defended him, "he won't burst, he's more in control than some of his older friends because he's got it in his blood."

"How old is he, really? Isn't he younger than you are?"

"Really, Edward, you're gonna talk to me about age difference?"

"Bella," he said to me again in that patient tone you use with disobedient kids, "relax, I'm not trying to diss your friend, honestly. But he's still dangerous, even if you don't recognize the risks. I don't see how you're better off with him than with me. I won't give you up just like that."

"He didn't leave…" I said, and it sounded like an accusation.

He sat next to me, and held both my hands in his. His presence still affected me, this was the closest he got to me since he came back.

"I'm so sorry, Bella. I understand that you don't trust me now, and therefore, he has the advantage. But this time, I'm staying. I realize my mistake, and I'm not abandoning you. You will learn to trust me again. And when you do, then you can decide. If you still want him, I will leave."

I listened to his words that made perfect sense to me. I knew he could be patient and if he meant what he said about still loving me and not being able to live without me, I believed that he would be annoyingly persistent.

The end of his line though made me flinch, the thought of him leaving again, even if right now I wasn't going to choose him, it suddenly seemed unbearable to me.

"Why would you leave then?" I asked and tried to ignore the pain that still lashed around the edges of the hole he once left. "Can't I be friends with both of you?"

He sighed while he absently stroked my hair. I leaned into his touch without thinking twice.

"I'm afraid we can't. I won't be able to be just your friend. And neither will you. You are still crazy about me. I can't read your mind, but I still hear your heartbeat and there's an empath in the house that I can read…"

"I wish things weren't so complicated," I murmured.

"I wish I had come back a little sooner, maybe I'd still be in time to win your heart. I know, if I tried to, I could seduce you easily. Even right now, right here, when you actually came to my house to tell me you chose him. It would come naturally, and you'd be mine again. But I don't want to play like that. I'll be a gentleman and wait until you can fully choose me. It's the only way you'll be able to forget about him."

"You sound really confident," I noticed, and I wasn't sure whether I liked it.

"That is because I know that we belong together."

"We'll see," I said and I forced myself to stand up and walk away from his touch.

I was confused about the way he made me feel. On the one hand, he obviously did still affect me. He was just as gorgeous as I remembered him, his eyes made my heart speed up and his touch felt like electric shocks. On the other hand, his confidence annoyed me slightly. I didn't like that he already made his mind up about my future. In the past, he decided for me as well.

I couldn't help but think that Jacob would never do that. He would respect my opinion and not treat me like a kid.

I said goodbye to the other Cullens and drove my car straight to Jacob.

I know he would be disgusted by the smell, but I wanted to be completely open and honest to him about everything, and I planned to repeat the entire conversation as I remembered it. I'd tell him about the shivers and the racing heart. But most importantly, I'd tell him that right now, this moment, my mind was made up, and I would be his girlfriend.

We were official now.

* * *

_AN: Some of you let me know that Jacob should take his distance from Bella, at least until she figures everything out. Don't be too hard on either of them, it's not easy to forget about your first love, and taking distance when you're in love is even harder. I hope you are all happy now that she's made up her mind :) Please let me know? _


	7. Chapter 7 Treaty

**Chapter 7: Treaty**

JPOV

She told me everything.

I was a little apprehensive at first, but after she mentioned casually about telling him she loves me, all was good and I was floating.

That evening in my car before she knew they had come back was the first and the last time she said it to me; hearing it again filled me with happiness. Especially now _he_ knew as well.

The odds were finally turning in my favor, and I was over the moon with joy.

I asked if I could start calling her my girlfriend now, with the pack and all. She answered with the sweetest smile and a hard kiss planted on my lips. So that was set.

I was taking her to the bonfire tonight, and this time, I wouldn't just hold her hand. I'd show my wolf brothers that the patient ones can get lucky too. Every duck has it's day.

I wasn't going to worry about the implications of Edward returning to Forks and practically promising her he'd win her over eventually. I'm not the brooding kind, always enjoyed life from moment to moment, and that's what I would do tonight.

Later that evening, the pack was all gathered around the fire.

This time was different, less exuberant, with the memory of the funeral still fresh in our minds. There was less drinking and less shouting, out of respect.

When the night grew darker, however, the atmosphere became more relaxed. Not to a point where people did get drunk, but there was joy and laughter anyway. Guitars were picked up and songs were sung. The tribe was never closer than tonight, and I loved that feeling.

I couldn't help but grin most of the evening, with Bella next to me every step, her arm tight around me. My friends patted my back and congratulated me. They teased us by asking inappropriate questions. We only responded by kissing each other. I knew Bella didn't like all the attention, but she knew my friends wel enough by now to be able to stand their teasing.

When Embry called me over for a song, waving my guitar at me, I was reluctant at first. I didn't want to leave Bella alone for one minute, I wanted to keep her close. But he insisted and Bella urged me on too, saying that she didn't know I could play.

Embry, Quil and me used to play a lot in my garage, before we were wolves. Dreaming of once forming a band and meeting chicks. It never came to that of course, in fact, we haven't played anything since the whole wolf stuff started and I didn't even know if I could still do it.

He wanted to play Mr. Jones from the Counting Crows, and I gave in. This had always been on of my favourites.

As soon as I played the first chords, I was back into it as if I had never put my guitar down. The song came easily to me and we both had an awesome time, just like all those evenings spent in my garage. I have no idea why we ever stopped making music, and I promised myself to pick up this habit again.

When the end came near, we both sang loud, eyes closed.

After it was done, some family members and friends applauded and we laughed. This wasn't a stage, this was just some friends having fun.

I searched for Bella and when I found her, I saw the admiration clear on her face. She stared at me, her eyes wide, and I felt more powerful than ever.

I walked over to her, feeling this new found confidence in every step. When I picked her up, she whispered in my ear "you have never looked more sexy than you do now" and she kissed me hard.

So this is what it feel like to be a rock star. It was awesome. She's always called me sweet, and cute, and all sorts of things that boys rather not hear from a girl they're willing to seduce.

Never before did she call me sexy. Now I was definitely going to keep playing my guitar, if this was the effect on her.

The rest of the evening, we stood even closer than we did before. Her arm was still around my waist, but her hand went underneath my shirt. Her fingertips were softly touching my hot skin.

I still couldn't believe she called me sexy. Most of all, I wanted to leave this party, and find a place to be alone. My friends would notice though, and they already teased me a lot. So we stayed there, talking, and enjoying each other's closeness.

In the middle of a discussion about teachers at the rez high school, I sensed something strange was up.

So did Embry and Jared, because our conversation stopped abruptly and they too searched the crowd with their eyes.

Suddenly I caught a glimpse of something that enraged me: Sam was walking into the forest with Edward! How dare that leech break the treaty and enter our property, with all of our people here?!

Immediately I started marching over there, my form shuddering violently. I vaguely noticed Bella trying to stop me, but it had no effect whatsoever other than her being dragged over there while she was grabbing my arm.

Before I could reach them, Sam turned around and said in a deep voice "stay back."

It was an alpha order which made me stop dead in my tracks and I growled at both of them. How dare he use his orders on me like that, in front of Bella and the bloodsucker. It was almost humiliating.

Edward, like a true gentleman, spoke "no, it's okay, I wanted to talk to Jacob as well."

"What are you doing here," I hissed.

"We had some matters to discuss about Victoria," he clarified, knowing that I would calm down when things concerned Bella's safety.

She was now standing next to me, her arm around my waist holding me firmly, as if it would keep me from attacking him. I was still furious that he had the guts to endanger our people by coming into our territory. All that kept me in place was the alpha order.

"I wanted to thank you, Jacob."

I eyed him suspiciously, without responding.

"For keeping Bella alive," he continued, "when I didn't".

"I didn't do it for your benefit," I muttered under my breath.

"I know. But that doesn't erase the gratitude I feel. I thought you should know that."

"Fine," I growled, "are you finished? Then get your filthy bloodsucker ass off our property before we tear you to pieces."

"Jacob," Bella pleaded, but I ignored her. She should know that he was out of line here.

"Relax," he said in his ever calm voice, "your people are perfectly safe. At least from me. I came here alone, showing that I mean no harm. If they are in any danger, it would be because of the many young wolves running around here. Me, I'm perfectly in control."

When he said this, his eyes were on Bella alone. He was trying to make a point about her safety, trying to convince her to come with him instead of staying here.

That was it. He was already out of line, but that went too far.

I was pissed off to no end and I took my revenge even though I was locked in place. I recalled a memory of Bella that I replayed many times over in my head. The part where she told me he never kissed her the way I did. I didn't stop at that. I added some images as well, of her on my lap kissing me feverishly in the car, or on my bed, her blushing face and red lips, almost sore from the long and deep kisses.

"Jacob, stop it," Bella almost screamed.

Hearing her plead like that finally snapped me out of it.

I saw that Edward's confident and strong composure had crumbled. He stood in front of us, defeated, with a tortured expression on his face.

If he could howl, he would have done it, I was sure of it. I knew all too well what it was like to be the one who didn't get the girl, and I was ashamed instantly.

Bella released my arm and started walking over to him.

"Edward, I'm sorry," she apologized. But before she could reach him and try to comfort him, he was gone.

She turned around towards me, and the expression on her face showed her disapproval and disappointment.

"What did you do?" she asked accusingly.

"I showed him that you're safe in my arms, that you're mine," I confessed reluctantly. I felt disappointment in myself as well.

"I'm sorry," I added, "I guess that was too much."

She nodded and returned to stand next to me.

I knew I had lost my good points here. I had just proven to her that he was indeed more in control than I was. I let my anger get the better of me and lashed out.

He returned home alone tonight, the girl was still by my side, but as far as sympathy went, he won and I lost.

* * *

_AN: What did you think of the confrontation? Who was out of line? _


	8. Chapter 8 Fire and Ice

**Chapter 8: Fire and Ice**

BPOV

* * *

_Some say the world will end in fire,_  
_Some say in ice._  
_From what I've tasted of desire_  
_I hold with those who favor fire._  
_But if it had to perish twice,_  
_I think I know enough of hate_  
_To say that for destruction ice_  
_Is also great_  
_And would suffice._

* * *

Seeing Edward like that, all sorrow and pain, hurt me more than I was ready to admit.

I left the bonfire not too long after that, saying I needed the sleep because I had school the next day. I had already missed a few days last week after the cliff-diving accident.

It wasn't a lie, but when I got home I didn't sleep.

I kept seeing his face, that is usually so hard to read. Now his expression was grimaced, as if he was forced to witness the most horrible thing. Which is probably exactly what happened.

I didn't blame Jacob, Edward wasn't supposed to be there. And I understood why he got so mad when Edward made another comment about young wolves being dangerous.

But I still wish he hadn't shown him whatever it was that made Edward fall to pieces.

This wasn't the vampire I had fallen in love with. And even though he wasn't my future anymore, to some degree I loved him still.

I didn't want him to be hurt, I wanted him to show his crooked grin again, the one that made me drown in his perfection. I wanted to hear his laughter. He rarely laughed out loud, but when he did, it sounded like heaven to me.

I promised myself, that night in my bed, that I would make him smile again. I had caused this pain, and I would try to erase it again. No matter what.

Except, I had no idea how. I think I was probably the last person he wanted to see right now. I left my window open but nobody showed up, and the next days, I was far too busy with school to sneak out towards the Cullen mansion. I didn't know what to say anyway.

After a week of me being distant with Jacob, focusing all my attention on schoolwork, and brooding over how hurt Edward looked, I finally got in my truck and drove to Edward's house. I planned to act as if that bonfire never happened, I'd be all casual, and I'd prove to him that we could be friends.

When I arrived, I was greeted by Alice. She towed me inside and started a conversation about everything and nothing. It seemed to me that she was afraid I wouldn't show up anymore, now I had chosen Jacob. She didn't bring up his name, nor did she mention the danger of wolves, which was a relief to me.

Apparently Edward was out hunting, but he'd be back soon according to her.

When he finally walked in, he stopped as soon as he saw me. He then figured I was here for Alice, and walked on straight to the stairs, without speaking to me.

His behavior hurt me, after all, I wasn't the one who had showed him those images, but I guess I did hurt him first just by being with Jacob. So I hid my feelings and said "Edward?"

He stopped but didn't look at me.

"Can we talk?" I asked in a soft voice, ready to take his rejection.

He slowly turned and looked around the house, checking who else was present.

"Outside?" he asked, without looking at me. Clearly he didn't want to be overheard.

"Sure," I replied relieved.

He marched out again, and I quickly followed after Alice nodded at me that it was okay.

He walked straight to the forest and I almost had to run to keep up with him.

When I tripped he sighed and said "get on my back."

His annoyed tone was like a slap in my face and I already regretted coming here.

He noticed and then said in a softer voice, "let me help you," before he lifted me onto his back easily, holding my arms in a firm grip around his neck.

He ran through the forest at vampire speed and I felt like I was flying again. The trees flashed by and his sweet scent made me dizzy. How could he still feel so familiar to me, as if he was the one I belonged with?

I rested my head on his shoulder and breathed against his neck.

At this he abruptly stopped, put me down and backed up a few steps, as if I had bitten him.

I scanned his eyes for thirst but they were light golden, he had just been fed.

"You can't…" he started in a tight voice, "you really shouldn't feel the things you do, it makes everything so much harder."

I understood now that my affectionate behavior, even if just for one second, was hurting him.

"I'm sorry," I muttered.

"Why are you here, Bella? I thought things were clear now. It seemed to me like you made your choice."

Again his words cut into me like knives.

"I want to be your friend, Edward."

He shook his head, we had already discussed this.

Then I added "I need you in my life. I can't lose you again."

"Bella…." he groaned. "What could you possibly need me for? He can give you everything you want."

"I don't know, I just do. I thought about you all week. What happened to not giving me up?"

I knew it wasn't fair of me. Begging him to stay near, when clearly our interactions were hurting him. Was I really that selfish?

"You don't want me to fight for you…" he stated.

I wondered again what Jacob had showed him to change his mind like that. He was right, I didn't want him to fight, but I also didn't want him to feel like this. I hardly recognized him.

"Would you really rather not be in my life at all than being just my friend?"

"Oh Bella," he shook his head, "I wish I could be your friend. It's not that I don't want to. And if that is really what you want, I promise I will try. But I'm afraid that I can't. It's difficult… You have no idea how close I was just now to… I probably shouldn't even say it."

"Probably," I nodded, but my mind was already wondering. Close to do what? To hold me? Kiss me?

My eyes lowered towards his lips. I still remember how they felt against mine, his sweet taste…

"Please, don't…" he begged me.

I shut my eyes quickly and forced the image away.

"You can't be my friend either. You're only fooling yourself here, Bella. You want me just as much as I want you."

I didn't have the strength to deny but I replied "I'll try. I will fight to keep you in my life. I'll prove to you that I can still make you happy, even if it's not everything you want."

He stepped closer to me, with that pain in his eyes that was already familiar to me.

"I don't know if I'll ever be happy again," he said softly, "I miss you…"

My knees grew weak, our gazes were locked. "I miss you, too. A lot," I confessed.

And it was the truth. Even if he was no longer the center of my universe, and even if the hole in my chest was healing up.

"It doesn't change a thing, does it?" he asked softly.

"No. I'm sorry."

I felt torn up inside. Was there really no way that I could make both of them happy? Why did I have to be the one to hurt them? Because that is what I was doing, I was hurting them both and I couldn't help it.

After a short silence, he said, "I'll think about what you said, and I'll try to be your friend. Let's go back now."

I agreed, and we started walking back.

It didn't take him long to grow impatient with my clumsiness and he invited me on his back again. This time I was careful enough not to breathe in his scent, so that I wouldn't give him mixed signals.

All the ride home from the Cullen mansion, I was going over and over the different options. But this was really a catch 22, no matter what I tried or did, someone would get hurt.

So in the end, I decided to stick with the choice that would hurt _me_ the least. Stay true to the one who knows me, who saved me, the one I trust most.

I texted him "I love you," and was immediately cheered up with a grinning text ":-)))))))".

By the time I reached my driveway, my mood was light again.

Until I saw Charlie sitting at the dinner table. The whole house smelled of something burned. Apparently he had tried to prepare some lunch. I noticed a lump of spaghetti waiting on a plate for me.

"You might wanna heat that up again," he started, and I sensed that he was uncomfortable.

I hadn't told him where I was going, and I wondered if he would be mad at me for staying away without warning. I have disappeared in the past and he tends to get worried. I guess that is part of his job, being sherrif.

He seemed more uneasy than mad, so I didn't object to the weird looking spaghetti. I put it in the microwave for thirty seconds and then sat down at the table, waiting patiently for him to start.

He was a man of little words, and it often took him a while to figure out what he needed to say.

But apparently now he had his speech prepared, cause he took off right away.

"We need to talk," he stated. I nodded while I tried to chew the sticky spaghetti.

And then he blurted out his entire speech all at once, without allowing me any time to respond.

"So… they're back. I figure you know that already. I've known for a few days now, but I didn't tell you because I knew how upset you were when he left. And upset is such a massive understatement. But I think you found out yourself, or they found you, whatever.

And I also noticed that you didn't leave the house this week. You used to spend all your days with Jacob, and now there was no trace of him. Which seemed odd to me. But things got clearer when I heard that _he_ was back.

And now today I was under assumption that you were going to LaPush, but then Jacob showed up here, looking for you. I can't say I was surprised, although I definitely do not agree with you dropping your _best friend_ as soon as _he_ returned.

And now… now I'm worried about you, Bella."

He emphasized the words best friend, to let me know where his sympathy was.

"So you think I'm back together with Edward?" I asked, after swallowing something that tasted like sauce with too much spice.

"I added two and two," he simply said. "I'm not going to say I agree, but right now I'm mostly worried."

I shook my head, "you can stop worrying then, I'm not with him."

"So you weren't at the Cullens just now?" the relief was clear on his face and in his tone.

"I was, but he's just my friend. They are my friends."

"And you're okay with that?" He raised his eyebrows.

I could tell that he was struggling to understand. I had been depressed most of the year and now he showed up again, and I casually said that he was just my friend.

Perhaps he needed to know the rest of the story as well. We've already told everyone else, so I might as well.

"I'm okay, yes, because I sort of have another boyfriend now."

"Really?" his eyes widened, "and why have I never met that fellow?"

"You have, dad," I laughed, "it's Jacob. Me and Jacob, we're together now. I guess you could say he's my boyfriend."

"Oh," he said, still a little shocked, and then his grin grew "Oooh. Well then, very nice. Good of you, Bella."

"Thanks," I grinned back.

"Does he know, about the Cullens? You're not having fights over them are you?"

I decided to be honest about the more complex parts too.

"Yes he knows. We're not fighting, but it's true that their return made things a little more… complicated. You know I had a hard time getting over Edward, and Jacob knows that too. This week, I've just been focusing on schoolwork and I guess Jacob is giving me space. Was he upset that I wasn't home?"

"If he was, he didn't show it. Always so cheerful that boy."

"So I suppose you agree with Jacob being my boyfriend," I smirked.

"You don't need my permission, but yes, I truly believe he is a good choice for you. You're so different now. Obviously you're no longer depressed, but you're even different now than you were in your days with Edward. That wasn't healthy."

I've heard this before, several friends told me the same thing after he left. That I was too obsessed, and he was too controling.

I didn't want to see it back then. I even didn't want to see it after he was gone. But now I get what Charlie meant.

If I had been with Edward right now, instead of Jacob, and Edward came to my house to find out I was with Jacob without informing him, he would have been upset. He would have waited for me to tell me my behavior was inappropriate and reckless. Would have made me feel guilty about it.

Whereas Jacob simply returned home without giving me a million worried calls.

And when I text him that I love him, he smiles at me without making me feel guilty for not being around.

I'm starting to see now that I have the best boyfriend ever.

Even if I'm still getting over my ex. My boyfriend is patient and understanding, and I would show him just much I appreciate it.

* * *

_AN: A lot going on in this chapter, I hope you all enjoy this story still. Please let me know what you think. _


	9. Chapter 9 Gratitude

**Chapter 9: Gratitude**

JPOV

* * *

She called me up to tell me she'd been at the Cullens, and that Charlie knows about us now.

I already figured out that first part. I wasn't happy about it, but the second part definitely made up for it. With the dad knowing, we must be completely official now. I couldn't believe that she, after spending time with him, still wanted me. More and more every day so it seemed.

At the end of the conversation she thanked me for being me, whatever that might mean, and she mentioned showing her gratitude later.

She had some schoolwork to take care of with Angela and she invited herself over to my house in the evening. Which was fine to me, especially if she planned to show me gratitude. I couldn't wait to find out how she planned to do that.

I spent my day taking care of wolf business, something I had been doing a lot the past week to keep me busy, so that by dinner, I was completely free.

And I was even more lucky when I heard my father yell from the porch that he would be with Charlie and Sue all evening so we had the place to ourselves. There was some stuff I needed to discuss with her that I didn't want my dad to hear.

When she finally arrived, a little later than I had hoped she would, she flung her arms around my neck and said in my ear "I missed you so much". All my doubts, that were somehow still gathered in this week where she clearly needed distance, faded again.

"Me too, Bells," I said, and I twirled her around, holding her locked in a bear hug.

I carefully put her down again and joked "before you tear my clothes off in all your gratitude and jump my bones, we should talk."

She playfully nudged me, but then her face became more serious.

"Is something wrong?"

"Well, yes and no," I started, "let's get upstairs. Billy isn't around, but we can get more comfortable there."

I winked at her and she smiled her sweet smile. She knew I didn't mean anything by it, we've been teasing each other all year and she's never been uncomfortable around me so I hope she wouldn't start now.

She followed me upstairs and got on the bed, leaning against the head board. She didn't pull up her legs this time, wrapping her arms around herself as if she was trying to feel safer. She looked relaxed.

I sat down as well, facing her.

"It's about Victoria," I said, and she winced at the sound of the name.

"What about her?" she asked warily.

"She's been spotted in the woods, Quil saw her and I'm sure the leeches saw her as well, because they are very much on guard these days."

"Are you sure? Edward didn't tell me anything about that."

"No, of course not," I huffed, "when has he ever wanted to share any vital information with you?"

"Good point," she said, and I continued, "we've put down patroling schedules, scanning the woods day and night, right up to the border. That's what kept me busy enough this week to not bug you every day."

"Has she come near my home?"

"No," I shook my head and then admitted "not yet."

"But you all believe she's after me, still?"

"It's a possibility."

"And how do you know the Cullens are on guard?"

"We smell them near our borders, they've been patroling their territory as well."

She nodded, still as calm as ever.

"Aren't you afraid?" I asked.

"Of course I am," she admitted, "it's never going to stop is it? She won't quit until I'm dead."

"Don't underestimate us, Bella, you saw what we did to Laurent, she's next on our list, believe me."

"But she's escaped so many times before."

"That's right, she can keep running, that's fine by me, but if she ever comes near you, I swear I'll rip her to pieces myself."

"Maybe she's waiting for a hole in your defenses, if she keeps probing and returning."

"Possibly, but we won't let our guard down. We're on edge as it is, we have the Cullen presence in our town to thank for that. The pack is still growing, and we're gaining more and more control every day. We're also getting tuned in on each other. The longer she waits, the stronger we get."

"You sound so confident," she smiled sadly. I could tell that she was concerned and knowing her, she'd probably be even more worried about me than about herself.

"Don't I always?" I tried to relax her with my smile.

She smiled back "yes you do."

"With reason," I exclaimed, "I'm just so super awesome it's hard not to be confident."

At this she laughed out loud and I got cocky "now, how about that gratitude, huh? I'm ready!"

She grinned widely, but instead of shoving me, like I expected her to do, she started to crawl over to me and said in a low voice, "are you sure, Jacob? Can you handle me?"

She suddenly changed from the joking girl nextdoor into my sexy girlfriend, and I swallowed before I nodded.

The thruth was, I wasn't sure I could handle her. When it comes to her, I must say I'm never as confident as I wish to be.

She didn't laugh at my lack of response, but she gently placed her palm against my chest and pushed me down on the mattress. I obeyed, obviously.

She crawled on top of me and then slowly bent down to kiss me.

This wasn't the Bella I was used to, but I sure didn't object. I wrapped my arms around her body, and answered her kiss with an eagerness that had built up over the past week.

I was pleased to no end to feel that she was just as greedy, her body was pressed against mine and her tongue pushed between my lips, searching for mine. It was hard not to get affected by her hungry and sexy behavior, but I didn't want her to feel that.

I flipped us over so that I was on top now. Her arms were wrapped around my neck and she kissed me so hard I was getting breathless.

I thought she would calm down a bit if I was in charge, but I was wrong. She placed her legs around my waist and pulled me closer to her. I broke the kiss and held her close, panting almost. She didn't stop, and kept kissing every inch of skin she had access too.

She must have known that she was in control now. She pressed her body against mine and gently bit into my shoulder. I was completely surprised by the rush of desire that coursed through me when I felt this. I groaned in her ear and pulled free from her grip easily only to attack her mouth again.

It pleased me to hear that she too was moaning softly. I wasn't the only one being blown away here.

At last, she softly pushed her hands against my chest and I lifted myself, giving her some more space to breathe.

She looked absolutely adorable, with her red cheeks and her eyes staring at me dreamily. "You drive me crazy, Bells," I panted. My voice sounded strange to me.

"You too," she whispered. "But you're too hot," she added, "litereally I mean."

"Oh." I quickly got up. My skin had been burning her, that's why she was blushing so much.

She took off her sweater and fanned herself with her hands.

She smiled at me, still panting a little, and said in the sweetest voice "figuratively as well. I think you can handle me, Jacob Black."

I smiled back, "I'm not so sure about that, I think you'll kill me some day if you keep showing gratitude like that."

She just shrugged innocently, and pulled me back on top of her for more kisses.

* * *

_AN: I hope you all enjoy this ;) Please let me know?_


	10. Chapter 10 Motives

**Chapter 10: Motives**

Bella POV

* * *

Weeks passed by like this. I tried to focus on schoolwork during the week, calling Jake up every day, and the weekend was spent mostly at LaPush.

My dad didn't object. He spent a lot of time there too, and he knew I was dating a younger guy which somehow made him relax about curfew. I think if I were to ask if I could spend the night, he'd be perfectly okay with it. He trusted Jacob and so did I.

So far, I haven't spent the night, although Jake has asked me a number of times. He was worried about Victoria, thought I would be safer in the rez and his sister's room was empty anyway.

He didn't suggest that I spend the night in his bed. Yet.

He might soon though. I think I was pushing some of his limits a little.

He never restrained me the way Edward had, he let me have my way with him just as I pleased. But he also didn't make a move to take our make out sessions further, even though his body made it perfectly clear to me that he wanted to. I think Edward would have been surprised at the amount of self control this young wolf had.

Thinking of Edward made me sad again. I haven't met him since our last conversation in the woods. He had promised me he would try to be my friend, and I thought he would come round if he was ready, but he never showed.

I missed him terribly.

I had my share of distractions, but knowing that he was in the neighbourhood, feeling like crap and missing me too didn't help matters.

I didn't have his number so all I could do was drive over there.

The thing is, I had done that last time. This time it was his turn to get in touch.

And I would wait. Like I have for weeks now.

Victoria hadn't returned to Forks, but the patroling was still on. They promised not to let their guard down and I was thankful.

My dad kept bugging me about college applications, but I knew Jacob would never leave the pack so I wasn't too keen on leaving Forks. He said I could commute, but I just wasn't ready to think about any of it. I still had time to figure out what I want. How was I supposed to choose a university, if I didn't even know what subject I'd like to study, or if I'd like to go to college at all. I didn't even know if I would survive the summer with Victoria on the loose.

I was having all these contemplations as I absent mindedly walked towards my truck in the school parking lot.

There was a bit of commotion and I looked up to see what the fuss was all about. Several girls were gathered around a new car in the parking lot, some of them recognized it and I heard the name Edward Cullen buzz all over.

It took me just one look to realize they were right. It really was Edward's car parked there.

I searched the environment, just like most other girls, and then figured that he wouldn't show up with all the commotion.

I got in my truck and decided to wait, so I put in my ear plugs and pulled out the book I was reading for an English assignment.

I was startled by a soft thud on my shoulder and I nearly jumped up against the roof.

"I'm sorry," he apologized, "I tried tapping the window but you didn't hear me," he pointed at my ear plugs.

It took me a while to soothe my racing heart. Seeing him again after weeks of missing him didn't help in that area, and I was thankful for the excuse I had.

He waited patiently, until I was calm again, and then suggested I join him for a drive. He needed to talk.

We drove off somewhere and he parked on a cliff with a nice view.

We didn't talk during the ride, I was too busy gripping the seat and praying to stay alive.

When he looked sideways, he flashed me his crooked grin, the one I hadn't seen in ages. And I was thankful again that my heart was already racing from his speeding, so that he wouldn't notice the effect.

The softly purring engine was turned off, but he kept staring out the window.

"So…" I trailed off, ecouraging him to start talking.

"So," he repeated, "I have an idea."

"Shoot."

"Do you still have those plane tickets Esme gave you on your last birthday?"

I thought really hard, and figured, since I hadn't left Forks since he did, the tickets must be somewhere in my room still.

"I think so."

"They almost expire," he said, as if that would explain his entire idea.

"I don't know, I haven't checked the date."

"I have," he said, "they'll only last a few more weeks. I was thinking maybe you should visit your mother in Florida this weekend."

Seeing my mother again did sound like a good idea, but him waiting for me after school to tell me to visit her seemed very weird to me.

"I might do that," I said hesitantly, "but why are you really here?"

"No other reason," he lied, "I just didn't want you to forget about the tickets."

"You could have just told me, or texted me, or whatever." I still didn't believe this was his reason.

He looked hurt now, "I thought you might be happy to see me. After all, you were the one who pleaded me to stay in your life."

"Of course I'm happy to see you!" I assured him, "but the plain tickets, what's it to you, whether I use them or not?"

Was he maybe thinking he should join me there, since I got them from his family? I wasn't going on a weekend with him. Wouldn't do that to Jacob.

"Allright, you're on to me," he said, but when he explained, it wasn't what I expected.

"Alice saw something in her vision. Victoria will come back next weekend, and she couldn't see things clearly because the wolves were involved, but she saw some minor injuries. I'd rather you weren't in town when these events come to happen."

"Who will get injured?" I asked. I wasn't going to run like a coward when my friends were at risk.

"It wasn't clear, but like I said, they are minor injuries, to us. A human… might be different. So I'm begging you. Think about it. I'm sure Jacob would agree with me."

I still wasn't convinced, but then he gave me the best argument, "both vampires and wolves would be safer if they didn't have to worry about you."

"Allright, I'll ask Charlie."

"I'm sure he would agree, if you would take Jacob."

He knew very well that Charlie had never liked him, and he must have read in his mind that he preferred Jacob.

"I can't believe I'm even suggesting this," he murmured under his breath, while he shook his head.

I placed my hand over his ice cold hand, wanting to comfort him, but he pulled it back as if my skin burned him, and I felt stupid for trying.

"Can I ask you something?" he said, "you can tell me if it's none of my business."

"Sure."

"Did you two… you know?"

"Did we what?"

He looked at me and his pained expression begged me to not say it out loud.

This was a topic I was not ready to discuss, not with him and not with anybody.

"We've only just started dating." I replied, hoping that this would be enough.

"I know the youth these days doesn't care much anymore about waiting," he said while looking down.

I responded with a cold voice "I'm not the youth of today. I'm me."

He looked up at me, "exactly," he whispered, "and I remember how… passionate you can be. He's human, he has no reason to hold back."

"Except maybe that he respects me? And that he loves me enough to not want to rush into things."

"Fair enough", he replied, obviously relieved with the answer.

"Would it make a difference if we had?"

"To me, yes, I think so."

"How? You wouldn't me back if I wasn't a virgin?"

"I'll always want you back," he said without hesitation. And then he thought about his next words.

"But maybe you could… as long as you still believe there is a tiny tiny possibility of us getting back together in the future… and I know you don't think that now, but just hear me out… This isn't easy for me."

I nodded. I remember how he used to hold on to his old fashion ways, like a prude almost.

"Maybe you could… you know, wait? Until you're absolutely sure about your future. I'd still love you if you weren't a virgin, but I don't want you to do anything you'll end up regretting."

"Oh, so I should wait for my own sake?" I asked in an insulted tone. He was going a little too far to my liking, asking me not to have sex with Jacob. I had no intention of crossing that bridge any time soon, but if I did, it would be none of Edward's business.

"This is just a friendly concern, Bella. You know the values that I hold, and isn't it natural that I'd like you as my friend to respect those as well, even if it's all rubbish to you?"

I didn't respond.

"If I would ask you for my own benefit, I wouldn't just ask you to wait. I'd beg you to not go near him again, to never touch his skin again, and never tell him he's the only one who kisses you the way he does…"

So that is what Jacob showed him all this time ago, at the bonfire. My cheeks started reddening and my heartbeat sped up in shame.

"I'm sorry, Edward," I muttered.

"It's alright," he shrugged, "I am well aware of the limitations of my… condition. And I really hope he can give you everything humanly possible. And in case he doesn't, I'll be here waiting for you."

"You shouldn't wait," I tried to object.

He ignored that comment.

"And I'll try harder to be your friend. I know I haven't been putting in much effort. I've been busy keeping watch, and…"

"It's okay."

"No', it's not. You made it clear that you wanted me in your life, as your friend, and I told you I would try. I won't break any more promises to you. You can count on me, Bella."

I searched his eyes for the familiar pain, but it seemed faded. He looked sincere and I filled with hope that this could work.

Could I have it all, could I have my wolf boyfriend and vampire friend?

* * *

_AN: What do you think, can she?_


	11. Chapter 11 Florida

**Chapter 11: Florida**

JPOV

During the flight to Florida, I was a little nervous. Not so much about meeting my future mother in law. I knew she would like me. Bella assured me that she wouldn't care about me being a high school dropout with a passion for motorcycles. She said I'd make her laugh and she'd melt like everybody does around me. And she has a point, I do find it easy to win people over just by smiling. It probably also helps that her dad is my dads best friend. I wasn't worried about that.

I was more worried about the things that would happen back home. Leaving the pack behind was not in my nature, but Sam assured me that keeping Bella safe was now pack business as well, so I wasn't abandoning my duty.

I tried not to show it, but I was nervous about the trip as well. Seattle was the furthest from home I've ever been. I felt a little lost, and I think Bella noticed because she grabbed my hand and I squeezed back thankfully.

We relaxed as soon as we arrived at Renée's place. Her house is a little more luxurious than our homes in Forks, and I was amazed at pretty much everything I saw.

We all had lunch together, and it passed by with pleasant conversation. Bella had been right about making Renée laugh. Everything felt right, like I fitted into Bella's life perfectly.

All too soon, Bill and me were playing video games on a huge screen, while Bella sat out on the balcony with her mom, enjoying the sun that hardly ever reaches Forks. The window was open and I listened intently to their conversation, wondering if they were maybe sharing an opinion about me. I wasn't really interested in what the mother had to say, but all the more in what Bella might share.

They were talking about everything and nothing, about Charlie, school, life in Washington... I was losing my focus, but then suddenly my attention grew when Renée said "You're different around him. "

I know Bella is used to people having negative comments on her relationship with Edward, so I was sure this got her on edge. I could clearly hear the irritation in her voice when she said "how so?"

"Oh, nothing bad," Renée quickly responded. "You just seem younger. You've always been old for your age, worrying about everything and taking care of everybody, especially me. With him, you're cheerful, and carefree so it seems. I've never seen you smile as much as you did this weekend."

"I think you're right," Bella answered with a smile in her voice, "I've considered him my sunshine for a while now."

"I can totally see that," Renée said, and they hugged. I was so pleased I ended up losing the game badly.

Later that night, Renée brought both our bags to the guest room. She joked that there are plenty of empty rooms in the house, but she wasn't going to be old fashioned about this. After all, Bella was a legal adult now.

I shot her a wide grin. Neither of us took the effort to point out to her that I in fact was only sixteen and therefor not legal. I wasn't going to complain. Spending a night in bed with Bella was more than I hoped to get out of this trip.

When Bella disappeared into the joint bathroom, I quickly changed into my boxers and got under the covers. I figured we wouldn't need them tonight. Florida is way hotter than Forks is, and she's not used to having a human heater in her bed. But I left the covers on anyway, for now, just in case she was shy.

When she stepped out of the bathroom, wearing a short and a pink tank top, she didn't seem shy at all. She smiled at me sweetly and crawled under the blanket, getting close to me. I was so happy that she wasn't like other girls, who constantly complained about their make up or about how fat they looked. Bella didn't believe she was beautiful, even though to me she's a godess, but she also didn't care enough to hide herself, which was great.

It didn't take us long to get caught up in a deep kiss. It started all innocently, but our bodies were pulled together and our tongues were fighting for dominance.

"Stop, Jake," she panted, pushing me away from her. "I don't want things to get heated up with my mother in the next room."

I dropped on my back next to her, "then stop driving me insane like that," I muttered.

She snuggled against my chest and my arm wrapped around her. "You started it," she smiled.

"You're the adult here," I teased her, "you should have most self-control."

"Hush pup." She planted a kiss on my shoulder and we both cooled down.

"Our first night together," I mesmerized.

"Mmm," she hummed, and I could feel her smile against my skin, "are you excited?"

"It's hard not to get excited when you're looking like that."

She nudged me, "I didn't mean it like that."

"I know I'm not being very romantic, but Bella, have you taken a look at yourself?"

I moved myself from under her so that she was now on her back and I was next to her, leaning on my elbow. I watched her shamelessly, every inch of her. And she didn't try to hide herself, which pleased me. She has no reason to be shy, she looked like an angel.

Her tank top hugged her body, it revealed every curve. My fingertips made small circles around her belly button and moved up towards her breasts. I looked up at her face for one second, to make sure this was okay. She was biting her lower lip, eyes closed, which encouraged me.

With the lightest of touches, I traced the contours of her breasts. She wasn't wearing a bra underneath her tight top, and I saw her nipples respond to my touch. My large hand cupped her breast and I gently brushed the erect nipple with my fingertip.

Her breath hitched, but she didn't move, so I continued my exploration. My hand moved over to her other breast where the other nipple needed some of my attention as well. I rolled it softly between two fingers and again she responded, but didn't object.

I was so turned on right now it was hard not to ravish her. But she didn't want us to get crazy with her mother around, and I would respect that.

My hand lowered towards her belly again, only to slide underneath the thin fabric of her top. I carressed her skin that was now almost as hot as mine, and reveled in the softness of her body. She shivered and I felt the goosebumps under my fingers.

I looked at her face. Her eyes were now no longer closed but fixed on my face. She was still biting her lower lip. I had to try my hardest not to kiss her, I knew things would get out of hand if I did.

All that moved was my hand, it was sliding up again, over her naked skin. When I reached the curve of her breasts, I slid my hand around it, following the contour.

Slowly my palm moved up higher, cuppig her, and I squeezed it gently. I was again surprised at how soft she felt. She never seemed more vulnerable to me, and it was captivating.

My attention shifted to the other side now. With one fingertip, I made circles around the breast, smaller circles every time. Her nipple stood up straight, needing to be touched. And when I finally did carress it, she sucked in the air and a soft moan escaped.

I needed to hear more of that. I gently rubbed the sensitive skin, and again I was rewarded with that divine sound.

I looked at her face and I saw my own feelings reflected, she was close to losing her self control.

"I want you", I whispered.

"Oh Jacob," she sighed, and her voice trembled, "you have no idea what you're doing to me when you say that."

"In a good way?"

"Very good. I want you too."

That was enough for me. For now.

It took all my strenght to pull my hand back from under her top and pull her against me for a hug. I knew better than to kiss her right now. We both stayed still until our bodies stopped screaming, and slowly, we dozed off to sleep in each others arms.

* * *

_AN: Did you notice the parallels between my story and the original stories? Do you like them? I tried to show how different things are with Jacob, compared to how she was with Edward. _


	12. Chapter 12 Question

**Chapter 12: Question**

Bella POV

* * *

When we returned home, we were anxious to meet our family. Billy had told us on the phone that there had been an incident. Victoria did come back indeed, just as Alice had foreseen, but she had escaped, using the treaty line in her benefit. She jumped from one side to the other, and both vampires and werewolves had lost track of her.

Instead, there was a small fight between Paul and Emmett. That bothered me. I wished they would all just relax a bit more and understand that the Cullens and the Quilete wolves were not so bad.

Jacob tried to explain to me that it had nothing to do with understanding, they were simply mortal enemies and there was nothing I could do about that. This also meant that I would have to keep my friend and my boyfriend separated at all times, which saddened me.

After dropping off my bag at home and fixing Charlie, who hadn't eaten properly in two days, some lunch, I drove us both to LaPush to hear the stories first hand.

Jacob's hand was on my knee the whole drive and it warmed me up completely. Something had changed between us. And he felt it too.

I think up until recently, his love for me had been mostly pure and innocent, but now it was growing more intense. Whenever I looked into his eyes, I saw a longing that must have been reflecting in mine.

We moved differently as well. More like one being. We've always been the touchy kind, holding hands and hugging, but now we were closer even.

I guess we left the "just friends" stage behind us for good, and we were clearly a couple now. Feeling comfortable being a couple as well. And I liked it.

The downside was that others noticed it, too. Billy eyed us suspiciously, but he didn't speak.

Later when we were all gathered in Emily's kitchen, the other wolves were not as polite. They kept punching Jake playfully, and congratulating him for 'nailing' his woman. A while ago, comments like that would have thrown him into a fit, but now he just smiled mysteriously, and pulled me closer to him. He said they'd find out soon enough they were wrong if they read his wolf mind, but he wasn't too keen on phasing since they'd probably also see images of my body shift through his mind constantly.

I asked what it was like with the other wolves then. Did he see images of their private life as well? Apparently Sam was in control of certain thoughts by now, but Jared who had just imprinted on Kim, was no pleasure to be around.

As the meeting went on, the stories about the chase and the 'incident' grew bigger and more dramatic.

At first, they just said Paul had burst when Emmett dropped in his neck, and he had bitten him. They hadn't been able to assess the damage, because the vampire was dragged away from the scene by the doctor. Carlisle and Jasper had calmed them all down and soon enough everybody focused on Victoria again. Paul had been unharmed, thanks to the intervention of other vampires and wolves.

Now however, they spoke of several vampire limbs flying around the forest and Paul being nearly ripped to pieces.

I could see that Paul was just fine, but I knew werewolves heal fast. I started to worry about Emmett and decided to go check on their side of the story.

Jacob made a face when I told him my plans, but he didn't try to stop me. He knew me better than that.

He did pull me outside Emily's house and once we were outside the other's views, he pushed me gently against the wall and kissed me deeply.

"I've been wanting to do that all day," he said in his husky voice, and then pressed his body against mine for another kiss.

Yes, something has definitely changed. There was an urgency to our kisses, the promise of something more.

I almost forgot what I planned to do, as his heat became mine.

Finally we broke apart when Quil stepped out and demanded some respect for the singles amongst us. Jacob laughed out loud and I got into my truck, chuckling.

Jacob tapped my window and when I opened it, he kissed me quickly again.

"Hurry back, Bells, I'll miss you."

"Me too," I replied, "every minute."

And it wasn't a lie. As soon as I drove away from the rez, I felt his absence like a cold chill.

I drove straight to the Cullens, and when I walked through the open door, Alice casually said "he's in the garage, no permanent damage done."

Sure enough, when I entered the garage, I saw Emmett waxing his new car.

"Heyyy, whassup Bella!" he said cheerfully. .

"Are you okay," I asked worriedly. I scanned his body for signs of injuries, but he looked fine to me.

He moved his arm up and own and grinned "good as new".

So it was true, they did rip off his arm. And here I was thinking that a vampire wouldn't stand a chance against a single wolf. Apparently I hadn't given the young wolves enough credit.

"But you can distract me from the horrible pain, Bella," he continued with a devilish grin.

I looked at him questioningly.

"You can tell me how your romantic weekend with the pup went. I bet he's not a prude like my brother ey? How sore are you?"

I turned into a scarlet red and shouted "Emmett! That is none of your business!"

"Wait, let me ask Jasper," he said, and I was mortified that they would all be trying to analyze my sex life, just like the wolves had done.

Luckily, Edward came to the rescue. "Leave her alone," he said in his calm voice, "come on, Bella, let's get outside." He shot a glare at Emmett who chuckled and mumbled "prude".

I followed him outside and he muttered while gesturing towards the garage "I'm sorry about Emmett."

"Not your fault," I said, and then added thankfully, "so far, you're the only person who hasn't dared to ask the big question".

He replied softly "well I'm the only person the answer could potentially kill," and then quickly changed the subject.

He told me his version of Victoria's escape, which resembled the other version for most part. He was aware that vampires and wolves had gotten in each other's way and that that was the reason she could get away. But I remembered what Jacob had told me about the mortal enemy thing, so I guess nobody was to blame for their hostility.

Suddenly my phone rang, and when I looked at the screen I saw Jacob's name. I hesitated but Edward said "you can answer," and gave me a little space. I knew it was just politeness, because from where he was standing he could still understand every word I would stay. And probably Jake's as well.

"Hey Bells, I won't be able to meet you tonight," his voice said.

"Oh, how come?" I had been looking forward to having him with me again. After spending the entire weekend in his company, I felt incomplete without him now.

"Apparently I'm the only one in the pack who got some sleep last night. I didn't get much, but still…" I heard him chuckle. I didn't respond, and Jacob understood "is he with you?"

"Yes."

"Right. So, um, yeah, I'm on patroling shedule all night so our plans are cancelled."

"Like all night?" I asked, wondering if I'd be able to call him later. I couldn't imagine going to sleep without hearing his voice first, and I think he understood.

"I'll arrange my schedule so that I can come over around ten, for like two minutes."

"Good," I smiled, already looking forward to it. I needed to see him, even if it was just for one kiss goodnight.

After I hung up, I was a little uncomfortable that Edward had to hear this.

He walked over to me, and I was afraid he'd be distant again. But instead he said "you can stay for a while?"

Now I wasn't rushing back to my boyfriend, I could indeed stay so I nodded, and he smiled at me. His whole face lit up and the sight of it made me feel better. I wasn't dazzled the way I used to be, but I still wanted to keep my promise to myself, that I would make him happy again.

Our conversation shifted from the serious vampire stuff towards lighter topics, such as school and the classroom gossip.

When the night started to fall, I said that I should be going home again. Charlie hadn't seen me all weekend and I wanted to keep the freedom he was giving me.

Edward walked me back to my truck and watched me in silence as I started the engine. I couldn't read his expression, but I felt like he enjoyed our talk just as much as I had and was dreading the moment that I left again.

That moment, I planned on coming over more often, being a better friend.

I put my truck in reverse, hesitated for one second and then said "for what it's worth, that question that everyone's been asking, it wouldn't kill you."

His face brightened again, and I smiled back before I turned the car around and drove home.

* * *

_AN: Personally, this is my favorite chapter so far. What do you think? _


	13. Chapter 13 Imprint

_AN: A big thank you to my new beta Aretee! _

* * *

**Chapter 13: Imprint **

Jacob POV

* * *

I was scheduled to patrol all night.

To my relief I found out that, for the first part, Sam would join me. Out of all the wolves, Sam was the least likely to pester me about Bella, and to pry in my brain, asking me questions that would recall memories I actually wasn't willing to share. He had grown out of that childish behavior, so he would be easier to be around.

The second part however, he would be replaced by Leah, who wasn't easy to be around at all. Not that she would pry into my mind, quite the opposite. She would be upset about thoughts I couldn't control. I had promised myself I'd try to comfort her after her father died, but it turned out to be harder than I imagined. She was now more hostile than she's ever been before. So I didn't look forward the switch around 3am.

The evening went by easily; Sam and I cleared our minds and just ran in wide circles around the territory, looking for fresh tracks.

There were none. We didn't expect to find anything, not so soon after her last visit, but we'd be stupid if we let our guard down.

I told Sam I'd like to check up on Bella around ten, and he agreed as long as I didn't stay human too long and I kept my focus in case he'd howl.

I didn't have to sneak through her window, since Charlie trusts me; I just went upstairs to kiss her goodnight. She was already in her pj's but I didn't let my gaze linger.

"Jacob, you came," she said all breathy and totally unaware of what that did to me.

"Well, not yet, but give me a chance." I waggled my eyebrows at her.

She hit my chest in mock outrage, but I barely felt it. "But I do have to go back to Sam, so it's probably better if I don't dwell on that."

I knew if I let things get heated up now, Sam would definitely enjoy the memory of it later.

She nodded understandingly and gave me a sweet but short kiss.

"When can I see you?" she asked.

"I'll be home tomorrow, but I'll probably sleep for most of the day."

"I don't mind," she answered, "I have an English assignment to finish, so maybe I could do that in your room? I promise I'll be quiet. I just want to be with you."

"I'd like that," I smiled back, and after another peck, I left her house again.

I wasn't sure I'd be able to sleep with her nearby, but it was so sweet that she just wanted to be near me, so I didn't object.

When I phased back I only pictured Bella's face, lighting up completely when she saw me enter the room, and my thoughts stayed clear from more private topics.

I heard Sam speak in my mind.

"How is she doing these days?"

"She's fine," I thought back, "she's not easily scared by monsters. I know Victoria frightens her, but she trusts us, so she just carries on."

"Strong one," he said, but his mind gave me another image. I saw his memory of Bella lying on the forest floor after Edward had left her that he found hard to let go. .

"How is she dealing with his return?"

Sam had been the one to find her that day, and ever since then, his disgust with the Cullen family had grown deeper than before.

I tried to gather my thoughts so I could give a clear answer instead of an answer mixed with all my personal opinions.

"She's… good, she's trying to convince herself she can be friends with him."

"Huh," Sam huffed, and I knew exactly what he meant. "Can't you stop her?"

"No," I replied without hesitance. "First, I don't want to stop her. She's not my property; she's free to do as she pleases."

"But they're dangerous," he interjected.

"So are we." I thought but as soon as the idea appeared I tried to push it away again, because I knew this was a touchy subject for Sam, with the whole Emily thing.

I continued, "Secondly, even if I did try to stop her, I know her, she'd be even more determined to make her point. She's the most stubborn person I know."

"Aren't you worried, about her feelings? She was…" he didn't finish that line, but I saw an image of Bella being completely in love with Edward.

Just a few weeks ago, this would have made me insecure, but I was dealing better with that now. I know all too well how much she had loved him-I didn't need his memory for that.

But I was learning to have faith in her. Whenever she came from his place, she reeked, but she wasn't distant. So maybe she was right. Maybe her feelings were turning into friendship.

These thoughts weren't spoken to Sam, but he responded to them anyway.

"But his feelings won't."

"I know. But I also know that he's been the perfect gentleman, only thinking about Bella's best interest. He wouldn't do anything to make her uncomfortable and he knows that she wants me now."

"In the past, I've seen him do things that made her very uncomfortable, when he believed it was in her benefit."

He had a good point there. If he really was convinced that Bella would be better off with him instead of me, he might not give up that easily.

"I don't want to make you doubt her, not at all," Sam interrupted my thoughts again, "but I'm just afraid this won't end well. I think he's only waiting for her to trust him again, before he makes his move, and nobody can predict how she'll react to that."

"Either way," I said, wanting to end this conversation that was making me feel uneasy, "there is nothing I can do now. I can't keep her away from him. I can only hope that by the time she forgives him, she'll no longer have feelings left for him."

Sam understood that the topic was closed now, and he moved on to safer subjects, like the younger wolves. After a while, we fell back into simple running mode, without thoughts or conversations.

It really was easy to be around him and I could hardly remember a time when I disliked my alpha.

"I remember that time," he thought with a chuckle.

I forgot that he was in my mind and I tried to shut the thoughts off again.

"You hated me because I used the alpha order on you a lot. You were one wild and out of control wolf. You were quite a hand full."

"I suppose I was," I admitted, remember the stupid fights I got in, and the endless discussions I had about not wanting to be a wolf and trying to blame others.

"You're doing better now," he continued, "I can feel that you have alpha blood in your veins. I guess that is why we get along better now. You've grown older and wiser."

"Shut up," I laughed, but I knew he was right. I did feel more responsible about the pack, who I considered my younger brothers now, even though Paul, Jared, and Embry were older than me.

"Nice to know you consider me a younger brother," an angry female voice thought.

I flinched, I had no idea it was 3am already and a curse escaped my mind.

"Awesome," she thought sarcastically, "always nice to feel welcome."

"See ya," Sam threw in, and then I felt him leave my mind, phasing back to human and going home.

"To Emily," Leah thought sadly.

I wanted to add something comforting, remember the pain she was in after both losses, but she almost spat "leave it," so I dropped the whole idea.

We kept running in silence, both having our own thoughts but neither responding to what we saw in the other's mind.

She was thinking mostly about Seth. Since her mother Sue was still overcome with grief, Leah had taken the mother role in the house, taking care of her little brother. We still saw him as little Seth, even though he was already 14 now.

She was worried about his grades, and apparently also worried about him turning into a wolf soon. I thought he was way too young for that, but she saw his temper rising and wondered if that was just because he was angry for missing his dad.

I didn't respond to any of her thoughts, I was minding my own business. I recalled the talk I just had with Sam, about Bella and Edward being friends, and about Edward waiting to make his move on her.

I wondered if he were to do it right now, would she be able to deny him? I didn't think so. She was still too much affected by him, she told me that herself.

"If he does, let her go," Leah suddenly spoke to me.

"Huh?" I thought surprised.

"If Edward makes his move on her, let her go back to him."

The idea alone was hurtful to me; there was no way on earth that I was going to give her up without a fight.

"Since when are you such a leech fan?" I thought with anger.

"Don't you see what you're doing to her? The risk you're putting her in?"

"What risk? I'm perfectly in control of myself. _They_ are more dangerous," I defended myself.

"I'm not talking about your temper."

"What risk then?" I asked impatiently.

I heard her sigh and then she said, "what if you imprint?"

"What do you mean? I'm not gonna imprint, I'm with her, I love… Oh…"

I suddenly remembered how Sam had been with Leah, loving her like crazy, when he imprinted with Emily. We all thought he was such a dickhead, for dropping Leah like that.

Only after finding out about imprinting, we knew it was all out of his power.

"That's my point. You think you're safe from your genes and you make her love you," she started ranting. "Haven't you seen the state she was in when she lost her bloodsucker? Do you honestly think she'll survive another loss like that? If you imprint, you'll be too far gone to even care she's hurting. You will drop her like used trash."

I flinched at her words and pictured Bella, devastated and me ignoring her because I was with my new love, whoever that might be.

"I won't meet new girls anymore, that way I can't imprint."

"Don't be ridiculous, Jacob, you can't lock yourself away. She'll want to go to college, she'll invite friends over, she'll want to go on holidays… Just yesterday you met hundreds of girls in the airport. Even if you didn't notice them, you could have imprinted right then and there."

"Well I'm not gonna break up with her just because there is a tiny chance that this _might_ happen to me. It's supposed to be a rare thing."

"I'm not saying you should break up, that would kill her too," she added at a softer tone, "I'm just saying, if Edward wants her back and she's considering it, let her go."

I knew she had a point, but I simply couldn't wrap my head around the idea of letting her go because at some point in our future, I might end up hurting her.

He might hurt her too, so was it really the safer choice? Sure he was a vampire, and they are pretty stable in their feelings, but still…

"Think about it," she said, and I knew I was going to have a hard time not to think about it.

* * *

_AN: This may be a little unexpected. What do you think he should do? And do you agree with Sam about Edward waiting for his chance?_


	14. Chapter 14 Reading

**Chapter 14: Reading**

I knew Jake needed the sleep, so I tried my hardest not to wake him up when I entered his room.

I found a free space on the side of his bed, that wasn't filled with his massive body, and took my books from my bag. I had a reading assignment to finish, so I managed to stop staring at his beautiful relaxed face and opened my book.

It took me a while to find a comfortable position, but when I did, I started working while listening to the even sound of his breath.

Every now and then, I'd stretch my back and allow myself to stare at his gorgeous body. I tried to concentrate, but he had a king of magnetism that pulled my gaze back to him.

My eyes followed his abs towards his pecks and his neck. Then over his jaw to his… opened eyes.

He was staring right back at me and my heart jumped.

"How long have you been watching me!?" I asked embarrassed.

"Long enough to see you drool all over me," he laughed, and then grabbed my arm to pull me into a hug.

"I wasn't drooling," I wanted to playfully nudge him, but I was in his tight grip. He looked at me in the sweetest way, which contradicted the casual and teasing tone he tried to keep.

"Whatever," he said while he breathed in the scent of my hair. He sighed, "I always want to wake up next to you."

"Aww," I said, and I kissed him softly.

He stretched out and picked up the book that had slid to the floor.

"How is your assignment going? Managed to read a bit in between the ogling?" He couldn't help but grin and I'm sure he was very pleased with himself.

I searched the page I had been reading before his body distracted me, and showed him how much more I had to finish.

"Nice job," he said, "go on then. I'll go grab some breakfast downstairs, do you want something?"

"I already had lunch, some water maybe."

"Coming up," he said, and he swiftly jumped from the bed. I watched him leave the room, a big smile across my face. I loved how he was still the same Jacob that I grew to know and love. The one who picked me up when I was down, the one who spent ages joking with me in his garage, who walked around on the beach holding my hand, being completely at ease around me.

When he came back, he wore shorts and a T-shirt, and I gave him a playful pouting look.

"Don't want to distract you any more than necessary," he explained. I could tell that he wasn't playing now. He really wanted me to complete the assignment.

He sat down on the bed, leaning against the headboard with a tray piled with sandwiches on his lap, while switching on the TV.

"Is that okay?" he asked, gesturing towards the TV, "I'll turn off the sound." He took a large bite out his first sandwich.

"It's fine," I said, and I opened my book again. I wanted to get this over with and maybe have some spare time after to do more fun stuff with Jake before he had to take off again.

After he finished all his food, he pulled me closer to him so that I was now sitting between his legs, my back against his chest. He leaned back, still watching TV while I rested against his warm body, trying to read the last pages of the book.

Somehow, the warmth he sent through me, made me lose track of the story. I had been able to concentrate just fine with him in the same room, more or less, but found it harder now he was so close to me. His hand was playing with my hair and I shivered when his fingertips accidentally brushed the skin on my neck.

"How's the reading going?" he asked, leaning forward to check my progress over my shoulder. I held up the book so that he could see how far I'd gone. Which was not far at all.

"Am I distracting you?" he said apologetically, before picking up the remote to switch the TV off again.

"You are," I said, "but not because of the TV."

"Oh," he replied, "how then?"

Before I could answer, he lowered his face to place a kiss on my shoulder, and then moved closer, to kiss my neck.

I dropped the book in my lap and turned my face to kiss him back.

He kissed me deeply while his hands softly caressed my arms and my breasts.

Ever since our moment in that bed in Florida, he must have noticed that I didn't mind being touched there at all, and his hands wandered around almost every time we kissed. I had absolutely no problem being groped, by him, all the time. In fact, I needed his hands on me.

It was the _way_ he touched me, he made me feel beautiful and wanted. He made me crave to be touched in even more places.

"Sorry," he said in a low voice, lifting his hands from my skin, "I'll behave. Read on."

"I don't want to read," I muttered, and I leaned back to kiss him some more, but he held his face out of my reach. "Bella, don't make this hard on me," he practically begged with a longing look, "I don't want to be a bad influence, we can play later."

I smiled at his choice of words and reluctantly picked up the book again.

This time, he didn't kiss me, but his fingertips kept caressing my skin. He wasn't being needy, and I don't think he was trying to get me hot, but the touch of his warm hands over my shorts and the skin of my legs was enough to keep me from reading. Whenever I lowered the book though, his hands were still, and when I held it up again to continue, he carried on.

I chuckled, "you're so mean."

He replied, "I know, but I'll reward you when you're done." He gave me a preview by kissing me softly on the neck.

This should have encouraged me, but I just couldn't focus anymore. So I held the book up and pretended to read, while his hands kept brushing against my skin. He moved his fingers underneath my shirt again, up my belly towards my breasts. I was wearing a bra now, but I could still feel his touch on my already excited nipples. His breath became a little heavier, which made me lean back against his chest and close my eyes.

He moved his hand down again, until he reached the waist band of my shorts. Then lower even, over my shorts to my inner thighs. He touched the sensitive skin between my legs and moved his hand up again, over my shorts. It came to a rest over my center.

Through my pants, his heat warmed me up. I felt his lips ghost across my skin and his hot breath against my neck turned me on even more.

I dropped the book next to the bed, but this time he didn't stop.

His hand moved back and forth a bit, rubbing me gently, and I opened my legs, granting him easier access.

Slowly, his fingers found their way again to the waist band of my shorts, and there he hesitated. My breathing picked up and I tried to figure out if he was teasing me now.

"Bella?" he sounded nervous.

"Yeah?" I laid still against him, my head on his shoulder and eyes closed.

"Have you ever done this before? With another boy I mean?"

"No." I really hoped he wouldn't ask me what exactly I had done with Edward. I didn't want to think of Edward right now. All I wanted was him, and his hands on me.

"Me neither," he said, and he sounded a little lost, "I don't really know what to do."

"Everything you do feels perfect to me," I reassured him, and I turned to look at his face. He looked so sweet, turned on, and insecure at the same time.

That moment, I fell even more in love with him.

He still hesitated, so I decided to encourage him. I pulled my waist band away from my belly so that his hand could slide inside, and he got the hint.

He lowered his face to kiss me sweetly, while his warm fingertips found my panties. I slowly deepened the kiss and opened my legs just a bit more, needing him to go on.

His fingertips followed the edges of the fabric, brushing against my skin, while his tongue stroked mine with the same tenderness.

At last, he moved the panties aside and I felt his touch on my wet center. I sucked in a breath and broke the kiss.

"Am I hurting you?" he whispered worriedly.

"No, please go on," I answered, resting my head on his shoulder again.

With just one fingertip, he explored me, moving it up and down over my folds. He was paying close attention to my every response. When he slid over my sensitive spot, a moan escaped my lips and he immediately tried it again.

He gently moved around it, and rubbed it in small circles until I couldn't help but push my lower body up against his hand. I wanted more. I needed more.

"Bella, you're _so_ hot," he sighed. The sound of his voice so close to my ear made shivers run down my spine.

"Mmm," was my only reply. I was in full surrender now, he was in complete control.

He gave me a little more pressure, flicking my clit back and forth under his fingertips, and I moaned a little more. His free hand moved up, inside my bra, squeezing my breasts, and I could clearly hear his breath speeding up as well.

I was sure I'd feel his arousal if I would move back a little, but I stayed in place, where his hand was doing wonderful things.

I still needed more, so with my hand, I guided his lower towards my entrance. "Push inside," I whispered.

He teased me a tiny bit wetting his fingers with my fluids, but then gave in and pushed his fingertip into me. He paused and gently licked my earlobe. I moaned and he stopped the teasing, sliding his long finger all the way inside.

Tingles rose up in my belly, something I'd never felt before. "Mmm, rub me there."

He was confused, "where? Inside?"

"Yeah, right there…" I panted.

He moved his finger around, deep inside me, and my moans showed him that he found another sweet spot. Slowly he pulled his finger out again, and slid back up, over my swollen center, and then inside again.

He was getting more turned on, I could tell. As my breath kept speeding up, his touch became more urgent. As if he felt a growing need to please me.

Suddenly he wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me harder against him. "You're driving me crazy," he groaned into my ear. I could feel clearly what I was doing to him, which made new butterflies rise up inside me.

He moved his attention from one spot to the other, and then decided to win me over completely, as his free hand slid inside my pants as well. Two long fingers curled deep inside me, rubbing away, sliding in and out, while his other hand tickled my clit at the same pace.

"Oh Jacob," I panted, "this feels amazing."

"I want you so bad, Bella," he sighed into my neck, and as a proof of his arousal, he pushed his erection against my back.

"Me too…" I gasped, almost unable to form words.

My nails dug into the skin of his legs as I shifted my body closer to his fingers.

His movements became faster, fingers sliding in and out of me, pushing deeper every time, his other hand rubbed my center harder now.

In the same rhythm, I felt his hips move slightly, brushing his arousal against me.

I felt like I was ready to burst at any moment.

I was aware that my moans were sounding needy and desperate, like a whimper almost, but I couldn't help it. I gave in completely.

His sliding fingers stayed inside me, massaging me deep down, and his rubbing hand focused on one spot alone. I could feel my climax approaching.

"Please, oh Jake," I moaned, "don't stop now, oh god."

"Mmm Bella," he panted. He softly bit my earlobe and that was enough. I fell over the edge, tumbling down hard as my body convulsed around his fingers. My hand instinctively grabbed his to hold it still, when my body quivered against him.

He kept both hands in place now and waited for my trembles to subside. I panted heavily.

I've never surrendered like that before, and I'd never felt such a release.

When I calmed down enough to look up at him, I saw the most amazing expression on his face, as if he had been the one who'd just had a massive orgasm. He grinned and pulled his hands from my shorts. Then flipped me on my back and kissed me hard.

When he broke the kiss, he said "thank you", and I chuckled.

"I should be the one to thank you."

"Yes you should," he replied jokingly, "you can rub my sore hands later."

I just started to consider rubbing something else instead, when we heard Billy enter the house who shouted for us to join him and Charlie for dinner.

We both laughed out loud at our perfect timing. He quickly washed his hands and I adjusted my clothes. I threw some cool water in my face, as I was sure my blushing cheeks would be a clear sign that I hadn't been reading. I threw my assignment in my bag and knew that I'd have naughty memories every time I saw that book.

* * *

_AN: I hope you enjoyed that? ;)_  
_Happy Easter!_


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